Lent

I apologize I am so late in writing this post on Lent. My intention was to write an introduction post to Lent on Ash Wednesday, February 10th, but that didn't happen. We are already 2 weeks into the season of Lent and my idea for the original post is now outdated, but I hope that my thoughts on Lent can help inspire you during your season of Lent.

Lent is a season of giving up and of conscious sacrifice in the 40 days (Sundays excluded) before Easter. Growing up I never participated in Lent and I honestly didn't understand the practice. I knew lots of people who did, but I personally couldn't get behind the idea. Then a few years ago I was introduced to this idea of Reverse Lent. Reverse Lent is a sacrifice of time and energy in the completion of service to Jesus. This might be spending a few minutes each day to thank someone for their presence in your life or to just encourage them in their faith or it might be a physical act of service. The last few years I have used my time and my gifts to work towards blessing others. Specifically, I have spent Lent crocheting blankets for specific organizations. The first year it was for Oliviana's Closet, the second year it was for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, and this year it is for Project Linus. Reverse Lent made more sense to me and felt of greater use to the Kingdom then giving up chocolate or something else. 

Then this year, prior to the start of Lent, insight into Lent came upon me and gave me understanding. I was reading a daily devotional, one that I had received in an email, about Jesus's fasting and temptation in the desert. It was while reading this devotional that I realized we give up something during the season of Lent so that we can experience temptation the way Jesus did. Yes, temptation is present in our lives everyday, regardless of whether we give up something or not, but we experience the greatest amount of temptation when we give up something we really want. Jesus fasted for 40 days and then was tempted. If He hadn't fasted then He would have been tempted to turn a rock into bread. In essence, if He didn't give something up then He wouldn't have experienced temptation. The purpose of Lent is not that we would be tempted, but that in being tempted, we would not succumb to temptation. Lent is a season of relying on God for what we need, a period of growing closer to Him, and a celebration of victory over temptation. The idea is that if we could overcome this temptation then we could overcome any temptation. Lent is a conscious time of practice and learning about and overcoming temptation. It prepares us for those times of unexpected temptation that will arrive in other areas of our lives. 

My views and practices of Lent have changed this year. My season of Lent exists in 3 parts: I am reading through the gospels, I am setting aside time daily to work on the blankets for Project Linus, and I am resisting the urge to fight my battle on my own. My pastor had challenged my church to read through the gospels before Easter in an effort to remind us that man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from God. I accepted his challenge because Lent should be a period of growing closer to God and depending on Him for our substance. I am making a conscious effort to use my gifts to be of service to God. This should be a regular practice, but I have noticed that if it isn't conscious then it can be easy to make excuses and engage in other activities. Finally, I prayed to God before Lent and asked Him to impress upon my heart anything that He might want me to give up during Lent. There was only one thing that continually came to mind throughout this time of prayer. If you have read any of my posts from this year then you know that I have been fighting a battle. This battle is figurative, but nevertheless challenging. Throughout this time I have been struggling with trying to be patient and let God fight the battle for me. I know what I should do, but there have still been times when I have been tempted to take matters into my own hands and it backfired miserably. Because of this, I believe God impressed it upon my heart to not take matters into my own hands and to rely on Him to fight for me. 

The aspects of my Lent aren't traditional, especially the last part, but together these different parts are working in my life. Reading through the gospels has served as a refresher course for me and has reminded me to live a life more like the life Jesus would want me to live. There is also this idea that I should know the word of God more intimately and that in knowing I will have understanding and in understanding it will be easier to live out. Working on the blankets for Project Linus has been a reminder of how fortunate I am and an encouraging conviction to help those that have less. Choosing different organizations forces me to learn about different groups of people in need. I have been most blessed by the last aspect of my Lent. The last 2 weeks I have trusted God, I have resisted the temptation to get involved, and He has blessed me immensely. In giving up control, I didn't lose anything, but instead experienced God's presence in every interaction. I was able to recognize His answers to my prayers or unvoiced areas of concern and to see how He was working in the life of someone I love. It has been a wonderful experience. 

That said, I haven't been 100% faithful to this experience. A few days ago, I did intervene and attempt to take control. I did it because I needed an answer and that answer was time sensitive, but I was too impatient to wait to see how God would answer my concern. Because of my impatience, I robbed myself of the opportunity to see God provide and to experience His ultimate blessing. Yet, I think this is an important lesson. There will be times when we fail and in failing we miss an experience with God, but even when we fail God doesn't leave us. He is right there waiting for us to come back to Him and to experience His blessing again. I will never know what might have happened if I hadn't intervened or how I would have experienced God in that moment. I can't get that moment back, but I can learn from it. There is plenty of temptation to intervene and attempt to take control in this battle, but I am learning and I am choosing to step back, allowing God to step in and fight for me. I don't know what is going to happen, but I know that at the end of this Lent season I am going to have experienced God in new ways and that is worth the sacrifice. 

Let Go And Let God

It has been almost a month since my last post and I apologize for not keeping Lessons updated. My last post was about the meaning of no when given from God as an answer to our prayers. A month ago I was afraid and confused as I faced the prospect of a no to my prayer in the battle I had spent more than a year fighting. If God said no then my fight would have essentially been a waste of my time and I would also have to change my expectations for the future. I had every intention of being obedient to God's answer, but I was unsure of how exactly I would do that. Then, on the last day of my prayerful waiting, I received my answer: yes. Yes, to fighting the battle and yes, to victory in the battle. I was overcome with emotion and my heart was filled with gratitude. 

Those initial feelings of happiness faded and the reality of battle came over me. I knew that a yes did not mean the end to fighting the battle, but somehow my expectations had shifted to a yes being the immediate delivery of a victory and when that didn't happen I began to experience disappointment. I know that I shouldn't have felt disappointed or allowed those feelings to affect me the way they did, but I did and those feelings kept me from writing. I wanted to reveal how to go forward in battle after God had guaranteed a victory, but I felt like a fraud because I didn't have a clue. The last month I have studied the idea of Biblical battles and how we should respond in them, but I still don't feel I know what I am doing in my own battle. 

That's where I am today: uncertain of how to go forward or what is even unexpected of me. Yet, I have learned, or rather I have been reminded, that the battles we face are God's not ours to fight. Every scripture I have found points us to giving up control to God and turning our battles over to Him in prayer. Giving up control isn't a natural feeling, but the Bible reminds us that when God fights a battle that He doesn't lose. This should be encouraging to all of us and motivate us to give up control. 

The truth is that we aren't equipped to fight most of the battles we face. No amount of will power, healthy living choices, or medicine can defeat cancer every time. No amount of support or calming meditation can take away the sting of losing someone we love. No amount of money or hobbies to keep you distracted will overcome your desire for restoration in a treasured relationship. No amount of force or new weapon can end every battle or prevent war. We, as humans, aren't equipped to change the hearts of men, to cure diseases, to create everlasting life, to bring about peace, or to restore what has been broken. Every time we try we will fail because we weren't capable of doing it in the first place. 

But God can. Every battle we face God can win. There is nothing that we face that God can't fix and make right. In one moment God can change a projected defeat into an overwhelming victory. That is not to say that God will always bring us victory in a battle or that every prayer for a victory will be answered. God can do it, but He isn't a genie that grants our every desire, even if it is noble. If God didn't have a bigger picture in mind then I think He would be more inclined to bring us more victories  in the battles that we face, but because of the bigger picture He has to say no in order to bring about His will for the world. There is comfort in this truth. Whether God says yes, no, or maybe He is working it out for the good of all who love him. Our no might not be welcomed, but it may have helped someone else or protected us in the future. We might never fully understand, but we can rest in the comfort that God loves us. He loved us so much that He gave us His only son. If He gave us His son, what would He withhold from us? 

God has given me a yes to victory in the battle I face, but His yes did not come with a timeline. I have had to learn what it means to let go and let God. Giving up control is not easy, but I am well aware of the fact that I am not equipped to fight this battle on my own. This last month has presented challenges that I didn't expect, but I am learning and growing in my faith.