Yesterday my confession resulted in validation and hope. Today marked the beginning. Today I thought a conversation would happen and I would receive a message. I imagined that message and looked forward to it all day. Then a black cloud of realization came over me when I realized that a conversation between friends is not the same as confirmation. I hadn't realized how much I had believed and hoped for that message until I realized it wasn't coming.
I tried to imagine it as a delay and to hope for it in the next few days, but in my heart I knew it wasn't coming. My heart was heavy and I just wanted to promise of restoration. There are moments in life when you want something so badly, but the obtainment is completely out of your control. In these moments I pray. I pray for strength, for wisdom, and for courage. Tonight I also prayed for reassurance. I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future and for now that is enough.
