Motives are interesting. Today, reflecting on this past weekend and week, I realized 3 areas where my motives were unpure. At the time I acted and did what I intended to do, without giving my motives much thought, but looking back and talking about it I realized my true motives. My true motives were wrong and selfish. Today I had repenting to do and needed to take a long look at what I had allowed circumstances to shape me into. I am not proud of my actions or my motives. I have let hurt shape my actions more than I have let love shape my heart.
I looked at myself today and I didn't see me. I don't do the things I have done and yet somehow I had convinced myself it was ok, even justified. Recent months of hurt, of heartache, of confusion, and of frustration have begun to corrupt my heart. I don't like who I am becoming and this is not how I want to obtain my heart's desires. Self-reflection has proved valuable today.
