Answered Prayers

Turning back yesterday left me with a clear purpose for today. Yesterday, God put into my heart the words I would use today and without knowing the outcome I sent those words to the one I love. The last few days I had spent praying about today. I saw today as a pivotal moment in restoration. I don't know how it would work or what would happen, but I prayed for today to be restoration and then tried to remove all doubt from my heart. 

I sent those words, had just about given up when I started to pray, and then my phone began to vibrate. It was him, the one I love, and the words God gave me led him to decide we needed to talk. I was nervous and anxious, that could mean so many things, but I expressed my fears and my willingness to talk anyways. He reassured me and we arranged to meet for dinner. And then, maybe because God knew I was so anxious, he delayed coming and I began to fear he wouldn't come at all. My heart turned heavy and I began to pray again. I laid my head down, I was very tired, and just as I had almost given up and was going to sleep, he was there. The moment had arrived. My nerves were still there, but they were significantly less than they were hours before.

God knew I needed some time, to relax, and to just be focused on something else (like being glad he showed up when I thought he wasn't going to). He also knew I needed what happened next, an evening and late night of reminiscing, of joking, and just enjoying each other's company. We didn't talk about what happened, what he wanted to talk about, or what anything meant. It wasn't that the night wasn't productive, it just served a different purpose. For me, it was this relaxing night, after too many stressful ones, that reminded my heart it was right to love this other person. That what happened wasn't as important as him and the value I gave him in my life. I could have nagged him or demanded we talk, but it wouldn't have been as effective as showing I cared about him. For him, I hope the night was a reminder of my love and a manifestation of a safe place to be. 

Turning Back

I don't fully understand today's lesson, but I know it has to do with turning back, about checking facts or confirming knowledge before proceeding, and that in turning back I was prevented from pain or embarrassment. The turning back presented its own puzzle and brought with it feelings of frustration, but there was this undeniable evidence that turning back prevented additional struggles. Despite the fact that one of the turning backs left me confused about tomorrow, I am still grateful and know the benefit of turning back.

I guess the real lesson is changing our attitude. Yes, we could get frustrated by the roadblocks or turn backs (I did) or we could recognize it as God's plan and know it is only for our benefit, which should produce gratitude or praise for God. Think of the family who had a flat tire on the way to Disneyland and missed a huge accident that would have killed them all. That turn back saved their lives. Not everything is meant to frustrate us, but simply meant to redirect us back on to the right path, God's path for us.