When Resolutions Fail

What do you do when your resolutions fail? If resolutions are signifiers of progress and you are standing still, or worse going backwards, how do you stop the trajectory and move in the right direction? How do you get up daily and continue to fight for your resolutions when you feel defeated?

This is where I am and I can assure you I don't have the answers to these questions. My resolutions were mostly ongoing and things I hoped to realize this year. Then last week everything came crashing down around me and when Friday came I was ready to throw in the towel. I went to bed feeling absolutely defeated. I knew I wasn't, it was just one of those life moments when you are temporarily knocked down, but still it is difficult to rise up to fight when you already feel down for the count. In these moments I am reminded of advice given to me by a friend, who was literally fighting for his life. I asked him how he managed to keep his spirits up and to keep fighting when his body was so sick and it seemed easier to give up. He told me that you don't just get to give up and that even when you don't want to that you have to keep trying. In essence, without taking extreme measures like suicide, you have no other option except to get up everyday. You have the choice to be miserable about it or to see the silver lining, but you don't get to choose to give up.

In this moment, I have no choice except to wake up daily, my beating heart essentially decides that one, but from there I am free to choose how I am going to face my failure in my resolutions. Do I decide these are not the resolutions for me or do I decide they are worth for fighting for? The answer to these questions varies on the person and the resolutions they have. For me, my choice is the later, to keep fighting for the goals I have set for myself, but I am realizing that I need to change my approach. For some resolutions, the means to obtain them is outside of my control and I need to change my outlook on the resolutions and my means to fight for their realization. You can hit your head on a wall everyday for the rest of your life, but it isn't going to get you any closer to your goals.

I don't have answers to my questions, but I know I need to keep my head up and do my best to keep fighting for my resolutions. I need to recognize my limitations and work towards making progress on realistic goals. One example of this is I am trying to get in the habit of working out regularly and overall live a healthier lifestyle. I find working out regularly a difficult task because usually I am tired and I have little motivation to do much at the end of the day. This last week I was able to work out twice and next week I will try to work out at least three times. Sometimes you need to be realistic and make goals that are achievable. Progress on little goals is a way to build up momentum and keep making progress on larger goals. 

It is the second week of January, how are your resolutions going? 

Resolutions: Planning To Keep

Yesterday I mentioned that resolutions are often not kept. Resolutions are forgotten or fail because we don't plan for them to succeed or we make them to vague to start. We can't simply resolve to live healthier lives or to succeed in our careers. If we want success then we need to create an action plan with achievable goals. Our action plan has to be more than get a promotion at work and should be comprised of real steps we can take towards that resolution. Real steps might be working later, taking on a new project, or asking for advice from a senior employee. These are steps we can realistically take to achieve our resolution of succeeding further in our career. The same is true for other resolutions like living healthier or learning a new skill. The first step to success is creating an action plan.

Nehemiah, a governor of Persian Judea, had a resolution to rebuild Jerusalem after it was destroyed by enemies. Nehemiah did not live in Jerusalem, but when he heard about the devastation, he was resolved to fix it. Nehemiah started the path to success by creating an action plan. The book of Nehemiah tells us that Nehemiah started his action plan by praying to God. When he knew he had God's blessing, he created a plan to succeed. He prayed continuously throughout the execution of his plan and spent time thinking about the logistics of what needed to happen in order for him to be successful. A certain amount of his plan was impossible in the sense that he would be unable to do it alone and needed God's blessing to influence the hearts of men. Nehemiah proved that it is ok to have an action plan with steps that we can't complete on our own, but that we need to have steps we can do too. The purpose of an action plan is to take real steps to achieve our goals and allow God to do what we can't. 

Financial Goal Planning Page

Some of my resolutions this year are financial goals that I would like to achieve in 2017. I am utilizing a bullet journal notebook in order to document and plan for the success of these goals. This notebook is my action plan. In it I can write down steps I need to take to succeed, document my progress, and know where I can't go any further on my own and where I need to faithfully turn it over to God. These financial goals are ongoing for 2017 and if I don't complete each step then I am not likely to have the success at the end of the year, but there is also room for miracles. I know there will be times when success will seem impossible, but I also know in those times God will provide for me when there didn't seem to be a way. I know this because God always provides for His children. 

Weekly Layout

Another resolution is just to be able to get more done and to have success in other areas of my life. Again, I am using that notebook to schedule in tasks and realistic steps I can take throughout the year to be more successful. I know that planning is not for everyone, but if you want to see success in your resolutions then I encourage you to create an action plan, document your success, and commit the rest to God. 

If you would like to see more of my bullet journal, or are interested in how I use it to complete resolutions, leave a comment below and I will include it in future posts. 

Resolutions

Happy New Year!

Today is the first day of 2017 and there is the hope, or rather the promise, that the new year has mercies anew. Last year may have been a rough year, a year you didn't think you would survive, but here you are in another year and with you is the potential to make this year better. Yes, there will always be circumstances outside of our control that can drastically shape our year, but there are also circumstances within our control that can effect our year as well. Typically, today is the day that we reflect on 2016 and make resolutions for 2017, but how many of those resolutions end up accomplished? I believe resolutions have a tendency to fail because they are just good ideas for our lives, rather than will or a plan to succeed. I can have a resolution to lose weight or get into better shape, but that isn't a plan and that resolution isn't motivation on a day when I am tired or not feeling well. The point isn't to bash resolutions, because they are a good place to start, but to begin to think beyond them and begin to achieve lasting results. 

This year I thought it would be interesting and maybe even more motivating if I let someone else pick one of my resolutions for 2017. Who knows you the best? Go to that person and ask them what resolution they think you should make for 2017. This isn't for the faint of heart. Many times people think things about us that we didn't know or thought were hidden features of ourselves. In order for this to work the person needs to be able to be honest with you and that isn't going to be easy. Maybe you are a shy person and your spouse has noticed that your shy attitude has held you back at work and prevented you from achieving what you have been working for your entire career. Your spouse might give you the resolution to talk to more people at work and to share your ideas at meetings. This isn't going to transform you overnight, but you will be reminded that you need to try because your spouse is rooting for you and this is their success too. Or maybe you have a tendency to turn down new experiences and your friend might give you the resolution to try at least one new thing this year. You would then have someone willing to try new things with and 2017 would be a year with new experiences and new memories. I understand that asking someone else for your resolution this year is scary and maybe this is too much for you this year, but I have a few ideas of how to begin to think beyond your resolutions that might be equally effective in allowing you to achieve success.

Resolution #1: Rest and Recharge

Mark 3:7 says, "Jesus withdrew with His disciples to the seas." Jesus, the perfect son of God, needed time to withdraw from society, rest, and recharge. He encouraged His disciples to do the same. The world frowns upon the idea of rest and gives the impression that human beings should be more like robots that work constantly, but even robots need to be recharged. Our electronic devices can only run so long before they have to be plugged in to recharge and other devices require battery changes. There isn't a single person or object in the world that can run continuously without being connected to a power source at some point. This should be a point of comfort for you; it is ok to rest and recharge. This year take time to withdraw, to rest, and to recharge. Draw upon the greatest power source, our Lord and Savior, and move forward into 2017 full of power. 

Resolution action plan: take a trip to the beach, go for a walk in the park, spend a day at home resting

Resolution #2: Your Body The Temple

1 Corinthians 6:19 says, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own." I believe this passage from 1 Corinthians is often misused and used to condemn individuals who are not fit, but a fit body is not an indication it is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Many people, regardless of their fitness level, do not love or care for their bodies. Their bodies bring them shame and self-loathing, but the Bible says that we should think of our bodies as temples. We should love our bodies and take care of their well-being. Would we allow filth to pollute our church? Then in a similar way we should be mindful of what we allow to enter our body. This is more than about food or fitness. The body can be polluted by more than what we eat. Jesus said that what we eat is expelled from us, but what is in our heart stays with us. Taking care of the body begins with loving the body and believing the body to be the temple of the Holy Spirit, whom we have received from God. 

Resolution action plan: eat healthier foods that give your body strength, increase your activity level and strengthen your heart, limit the amount of filth that you allow into your daily life, immerse yourself in Godliness

Resolution #3: Do Unto Others

Matthew 7:12 says, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:12 is the Golden Rule for how we should deal with one another. If we want someone to be compassionate towards us when we make a mistake then we ought to be compassionate towards others when they make a mistake too. As much as we are able, we need to treat others with the love, compassion, and mercy that we would want others to give us if the positions were reversed. This is not always easy because there are some things that we wouldn't do and they become unforgivable in our eyes, but Jesus commanded us to love our enemies and to forgive as we would want to be forgiven. Perhaps we can't put ourselves directly in their shoes, but sin is sin in God's eyes and if we would want God to forgive us for our own sin then we need to forgive others of their sin. Treating others with love, compassion, and mercy can be difficult when we think of them in their differences, but Jesus died for all of us and therefore they are God's children with us. No one is apart, but rather we are one in the kingdom of God. 

Resolution action plan: think of others as you would yourself, be kind to one another, forgive easily, show compassion, be merciful

These are just a few Biblical resolutions to start off your new year and I hope that you find the action plans for each helpful in achieving success this year. What are your resolutions for 2017? Do you have any tips for achieving success in resolutions? Leave a comment below and let me know. 

Thankful November

November has been busy, but has been a month full of blessings. The beginning of the month I spent time in Kansas with my family and took a reprieve from the busy life that comes with living in a city. I also celebrated the return of a friend from Africa. The rest of the month progressed rather quickly and not without its fair share of events. I spent time with the one I love and finally enjoyed some In N Out. I went to the movies and spent an afternoon relaxing in luxury seating. The month closed out with some much needed time off of work and time to finish up Christmas shopping. I have managed to go from zero ideas for Christmas gifts this year to having bought or ordered nearly all of them. Although Christmas is far more than gifts, it is nice to be able to have something to give other people. 

This month has been busy, but not without blessings. My intentions were to post regularly the blessings I experienced, but schedules are not always possible to keep. That said, I know I have much to be thankful for and I will continue to record my daily gratitude in my personal blessings log. If you struggle with sadness or bitterness then I encourage you to do the same. Every day you spend a few minutes and write a few things that you are grateful for and title them blessings. These items are things that you can remember when you are having a harder time with life. Your gratitude doesn't have to be large or elaborate and can be as simple as enjoying your favorite food. There are days when my heart was heavy and I struggled with gratitude, but then I realized that even the smallest aspects of our lives can contain blessings. Perhaps some may think I'm silly when I write that I am grateful for potstickers from my favorite Chinese restaurant, but in the experience my heart is filled with gratitude. The point of gratitude is that we are thankful for everything God gives us, both the little and the big, and to enjoy every moment of our lives. 

United We Stand: A Lesson In Politics

You will rarely see me choosing to discuss anything political or even sharing my political beliefs. That is because, simply put, I hate politics. I am not ashamed of my political beliefs, but rather I know that political discussions often dissolve into voices of hate or in the very least a lack of tolerance for other people's beliefs. I have lived long enough to know that each person is unique and even people of the same beliefs have different reasons for their beliefs. As a general policy I don't discuss politics, but I am breaking my silence today. 

The amount of discord in this country after the election last week is just shameful. Regardless of your political beliefs, each election some people get what they want and others don't. That is true of each election from the beginning of time. This fact should remind us that we are all different and that we aren't always going to agree, but disagreement is not a reason for destruction. I know people will argue about the popular vote vs. the electoral college and the fairness of the election process. Certainly there is something to be said about the process, but the process is what we have. If you are upset about the process then work to change the process rather than to demonstrate your frustration with self-destruction. 

Our American democracy is not perfect, far from it, but what process is? Nothing is perfect and no matter how upset we become it isn't going to be perfect. Again, regardless of our political beliefs, we all are going to experience feelings of frustration or unrest in the face of politics. The way I see it we can use our frustration to bring about positive change or we can self-destruct. The original founding fathers knew that united we stand, but divided we fall. Division in a house is the fastest way to make a house fall. Nothing illustrates this more than the Civil War. Our country was greatly divided and brothers fought brothers over their beliefs. The blood bath that ensued was awful and entirely unnecessary. I believe that some of the soldiers fought a war they didn't believe in because it was expected of them. Some people had the courage to stand up and fight for what they believed in despite everyone around them fighting against them, but as noble as we want to believe we are, most of the time we give in to the opinions of people around us. 

Let us not be divided on the outcome of the presidential election, but instead come together and stand up for what we believe in. Please don't stand up and voice your frustration in self-destruction, but rather stand up and demonstrate your beliefs that others might see and take you as example. Be a beacon of light to a world darkened by conflict. Stand up, continue to be kind regardless of the person or their beliefs, and demonstrate God's love to everyone. 

Even if you are in favor of what happened in the election, most likely you are not in favor of everything, and you have the opportunity to show Americans are able to come together, even in the face of disagreement. I know some people are thinking. "That's all fine and good, but how do you do it?" We are able to come together in the face of agreement and exact positive change by living a life that is reflective of the the life of Jesus. In Jesus' day Rome was in charge of His country and the Pharisees took advantage of Roman rule to distance themselves from the people. The bulk of the people were probably not in favor of the Romans or the Pharisees, but that was the life they lived in. Obviously, they didn't have a democracy, but I'm not sure it would matter if they did. The point is that the people had very little rights, their lives were not great, and they were surrounded by corruption. The people could have chosen to destroy their homes in response to their new rulers, but all that would accomplish is homelessness. I'm not sure what would have happened if Jesus hadn't come along, but because He did, we have an example of how to respond in the face of adversity. 

Jesus did not respond with violence because those who live by the sword die by the sword. Instead  He challenged the rulers of His day and through His words and actions demonstrated the way people should live. He was kind to everyone, not just those who were politically powerful or religiously clean. When Jesus looked at people He saw their hearts and their potential rather than their sin and their flaws. We can look at the people around us and see them as Jesus sees them, His children, whom He loved enough to die on a cross for. That means we need to look beyond their beliefs, beyond their gender, beyond their race, and beyond any other factors that might keep us from demonstrating God's love for them. 

I will readily agree that this isn't an easy task and that even when loving all of God's children, we should be cautious lest we fall victim to something awful. Yes, we are all God's children, but evil has possessed some to hurt others and cause unspeakable things to happen. We are responsible for ourselves and ought to live righteously in our relationships with others regardless of who they are. This can be done in little actions like holding a door open or larger actions like standing up to defend the rights of someone too small to fight for themselves. 

Jesus taught His disciples and His followers that they were responsible before God for their actions and these actions included their relationships with one another. He expected them to sacrifice and give up aspects of their life in order to help others. That was true whether the person was sick or hungry. He helped everyone and we ought to do the same. United we can stand together, preserve a country we love, and enact positive change through our actions.

Thankful November: The First Ten Days

I am thankful! Yes, I am very thankful even though I am behind in posting my gratitude. The last nine days I have been busy with work and getting ready for a long weekend in Kansas. I am in Kansas now and I have time to reflect on the blessings I have experienced over the last nine days. 

The first blessing is the return of my friend and coworker. Earlier this year she unexpectedly joined the peace corps and left for Africa in February. Everyone was heartbroken at work and we have missed her greatly. The first week of November I was in Starbucks and was thinking about how I needed to buy some more coffee to send to her. Later on that day I ran into her at work. My friend and coworker had just as unexpectedly returned from Africa. I am so incredibly grateful to have my friend back at work. 

The next blessing is waking up to the sunrise every morning. I don't particularly enjoy waking up early, especially when I first wake up and it is still dark, but seeing the sunrise makes waking up early  seem better. The recent time change has made waking up easier because the sun has just started rising  and it doesn't feel like I should still be sleeping. 

The last blessing is being in Kansas. I have wanted to take this trip to Kansas for awhile now, but it has never happened. Last month my dad told my grandpa that I was planning on coming and on my grandpa's birthday I looked up flights to Kansas. The flights were surprisingly affordable and I booked the flight immediately. Today I spent the day traveling from California to Kansas and I arrived just as the sun set. Kansas is so much different than California and I am enjoying the small town. I grew up in a small town and have watched as it has grown so much in the last few years. It is nice to be in a quiet town with little to no traffic. I am looking forward to the next few days of quiet rest that being in a small town brings. 

What are you thankful for? Leave your gratitude in the comments below as well as any prayer requests. 

Thankful November: The Plan

I can hardly believe that it is already November. This is harder to believe since I have yet to start planning anything for Christmas. There use to be a time when I was done with all of my Christmas shopping by October, but hardships in the last five years have transitioned me towards procrastinating Christmas shopping. I always intend to plan ahead and finish early, but that is happening less and less these days. All of this is really besides the point. The point is that I can't believe it is November already and that I want to take some time to appreciate all of my blessings before the craziness of December sets in. I will probably still post a few Christmas related posts this month, but the majority of my posts will be focused on gratitude. 

Every day I record three things I am grateful for in the list section on my phone and then transcribe those blessings onto a list on my computer, but this month I am going to spend some time each week writing about something I am grateful for. Whenever these things involve a person I am going to find a way to express my gratitude towards them because gratefulness is not expressed enough when it comes to the people in our lives. It might be something they did for me or just their general presence in my life, but I am going to find a way to express my gratitude. I encourage you to do the same. 

Last year I followed a 30-day prompt and wrote each day about something that I was grateful for, but it was a lot to keep up with and some of the days were not well thought out. By the end of the challenge I felt obligated to write on that topic and the purpose of gratitude was lost. A 30-day prompt is still something worth trying, but this year I am going to let the experience be more natural. I am going to spend an hour or so each week just meditating on all of my blessings and write about the one that stood out the most at the end of the hour. I will readily admit that some weeks the blessing is probably going to seem pretty trivial, but sometimes the littlest things are the biggest blessings. 

Leave a comment below if you are planning on doing the Thankful November and be sure to tell me some of the things you are thankful for in your own life.