Gratitude

We are quick to pray when something goes wrong, quick to be angry or upset by unfair circumstances, and quick to criticize when life doesn't happen the way we wanted. But are we equally quick to pray when things go right, quick to give praise, and quick to acknowledge God's plan is best? In life, we will have sorrows and joy and we should pray often in both circumstances, with a joyful heart. I have been bad about this. I have a tendency to pray quickly when I need something, but delay giving thanks. It isn't intentional, but nevertheless I should be mindful of my gratitude. 

Tonight I have so much to be grateful for, in addition to the blessings God has already given me. I am grateful for a friend's encouragement and faith in my abilities. His encouragement led me to order the part and fix my computer by myself. It worked. I am grateful for a perfect score in the first class I have taken towards my graduate certificate in child life. I am grateful I was able to pay off another student loan. There are now only 3 left (there were originally 5). I am so very grateful for God's blessings.

I realize to non-believers my gratitude seems to be attributed to my own abilities rather than God's blessings. Yet, all of my abilities are directly from God and His influence in my life. God is more than willing to bless us, but sometimes He requires us to use our gifts to fulfill His blessings in our life. I didn't just get an A in my class. I worked every  week to stay on top of my assigned reading, attend class, and finish my assignments on time. I used God's gifts and worked hard to do well in my class. This is equally true when it comes to paying off another student loan. I used money saving principles taught to me by God to save money, budget, and establish a repayment plan that worked for me. God blessed me with few expenses and a good job that has made repayment easier.

Be grateful for all you have, pray often, and don't assume God will do it all, He desires your participation in life.

God's Not Dead

Tonight, I watched God's Not Dead and was inspired by the following conversation from the movie:

Mark: You prayed and believed your whole life. Never done anything wrong. And here you are. You're the nicest person I know. I am the meanest. You have dementia. My life is perfect.. Explain that to me!

Mina & Mark's Mom: Sometimes the devil allows people to live a life free from trouble because he doesn't want them turning to God. Their sin is like a jail cell, except it is all nice and comfy and there doesn't seem to be any reason to leave. The door's wide open. Til one day, time runs out, and the cell door slams shut, and suddenly it's too late.

I have noticed that this seems to be a common struggle across believers and non-believers. There is this desire to explain why good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. We want an explanation beyond free choice, evil or random occurrences of life events. We want meaning. If we are going to struggle, to face loss, while another person who is mean or even evil doesn't, we want to know why and we want the reason to be meaningful.

Yes, all of this is a part of God's plan, but there is still this desire to know why. As if we believe there was another way and God chose to have us suffer for no reason. This is why I love the mother's response in God's Not Dead. She could have talked about struggle and hardship as valuable to our relationship to God and others, but instead she flipped the tables and showed the other side. To not struggle, we become content in our lives, and miss the fact we are in a prison of our own making. When you look at it that way, who would you rather be?

Now I won't pretend to have all of the answers because I don't, I don't understand why God takes people

before they have lived a full life or why some people seem to attract hardship like a magnet, but I do know that each moment is a puzzle piece working together with all of the other moments to form God's perfect plan. To see the finished puzzle now would be divine, but if I can't, it doesn't change the fact "God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good."

He Has Risen

He Has Risen! Today, is Easter Sunday, and Jesus has risen from the dead. For Christians this is a day of celebration and joy. Jesus makes six appearances today. First, He appears to Mary Magdalene, who has come to see Him at His tomb, and gives her a message for His disciples. She goes on to give the message to His disciples while Jesus stays behind. Jesus then appears to the other women, who have come to the tomb intending to complete the burial preparation of His body (yesterday being the Sabbath, they were unable to finish it). Third, Jesus appears to two of His disciples on the Road to Emmaus. These disciples rush on to tell the other disciples. Then Jesus appears to Simon Peter, although this is not recorded, but only alluded to in Luke 24:33 and 1 Corinthians 1:5. Finally, Jesus appears to His astonished disciples, but Thomas is absent. The disciples are overjoyed and share the news of Jesus' resurrection with Thomas, but he doesn't believe. 

Jesus could have left Thomas in his doubt, but instead He appeared to Thomas and showed him the wounds in His hands, His feet, and the piecing in His side. Thomas no longer doubted. Jesus, having risen from the dead, continued to show love and grace to His disciples. Having shown Himself to His disciples, Jesus ascends into the Heavens and is restored to His place of glory. Jesus' love and grace didn't end with His compassion for Thomas, but continues today for all people. Jesus is waiting for you to answer the door of your heart, He is knocking even now, will you answer?

Death and Longing

Following Jesus on His journey during the last week of His life has been incredibly interesting. I already knew what had happened and could probably have even provided a fairly accurate description of each day, but researching His last week has made me feel I was on this journey with Him. I know what has happened since His death, but as I took this journey I experienced real emotions of sadness. Here, this man who had only loved and served others, was condemned, persecuted, and crucified. If anyone didn't deserve death, it was Jesus, yet it was Him that was nailed to that cross. There is this undeniable feeling that what happened on the cross was unfair, both in past and in current circumstances, but Jesus didn't care. He allowed Himself to be denied, to be nailed to a cross, and to die on a cross for us, all of us. Incredible sacrifice and love is being shown for us in this moment.

If I had been there with Jesus, if I had been one of His disciples, I would have been so grieved today. I would have known what Jesus said, but I would not have anticipated His resurrection. It isn't that I wouldn't have believed everything Jesus had said, just that I wouldn't have been able to comprehend based on my understanding of life. For in life, things that are living die, and the things that die do not live again. Yet, Jesus raised Lazarus from his death during His ministry and showed that with God, anything was possible. So perhaps, having seen Jesus raise Lazarus from the dead, I would have believed Jesus could rise from the dead too. Whether I believed or not, I know I would have experienced intense sadness waiting for Jesus and a longing for Him to return.

The Trials of Jesus Christ

Yesterday, Jesus was betrayed, arrested, and abandoned by His friends, even Peter, who promised to stay with Him always. Today, He will face six trials and ultimately be persecuted by the very same people who celebrated His arrival on Sunday.

The first trial is before Annas and happens in the night time hours (early morning). Annas is looking for an accusation, ultimately biding time until Sanhedrin is gathered at High Priestly villa. The second trial, the primary trial, is before Sanhedrin and Jesus is condemned, misused. The third trial happened immediately at dawn. Peter denies Jesus a third time, Jesus looks upon him, and the rooster crows 3 times. The condemnation is repeated and Jesus is taken to the Romans. The fourth trial is before Pilate, but finding Jesus without fault, he sends him to Herod to be dealt with. The fifth trial is before Herod, who sends Jesus back to Pilate. The sixth and final trial is before Pilate. Pilate's wife is plagued by a dream about Jesus and tells Pilate not to have involvement in His death. Jesus is scourged. Pilate gives the people an option and a way out, thinking the people are just jealous of Jesus. Pilate offers the people Barabbas, a convicted murder, or Jesus to be released as part of their celebration. The crowd cries out, "Crucify Him or we will tell Rome!" Pilate is unable to reason with the people and fears a riot. Jesus is turned over to the Roman soldiers to be crucified. The Roman soldiers mocked Jesus, making Him a crown of thorns. Meanwhile, plagued with guilt, Judas hangs himself.

The time has come. Jesus bears His cross to the gate on the north of the city and is crucified around 9 am. Nailed to the cross, Jesus is mocked again and again. The people cry out to Jesus, asking Him, "Where is your God to save you?" This might be hard to imagine, but Jesus was on the cross by choice and as the people mocked Him, He could have chosen to leave then, to not provide salvation through His death. Instead He prayed, "Father, forgive them. They do not know what they have done." On either side of Jesus were prisoners, one joined the crowd mocking Jesus and the other recognized Jesus for what He was, to this prisoner Jesus said, "Today, you will be with me in paradise." Mary, Jesus' mother is there, and it must have been awful watching her son hang on that cross, not truly understanding why He was there. Jesus sees His mother, recognizes her pain, and tells her, "Woman, behold thy son...", giving her a new son in the form of His disciple.

Darkness falls, even though it is noon, and remains until 3 pm. God's back is turned on His son as the sin of the people is cast on Him upon the cross. Jesus cries out, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" The people continue to mock Him, challenging His God to save Him, and wait to see what will happen. Jesus speaks again, "I thirst," and someone offers him a sponge soaked in vinegar. Then it is time and Jesus gives up His spirit, "It is finished." Around 3 pm, after Jesus gives up His spirit, the veil of the temple is torn. The people can now have free access to God and they no longer have to rely on the priests. Some graves are opened and the people rise (to mortality) and go into the city. As the evening goes on, the soldiers become impatient waiting for the prisoners to die. The soldiers pierce Jesus' side, but He was already dead. The Passover lambs are slain in the temple and Jesus is buried at sundown.

Now, Jesus was dead, but the Pharisees still feared Him and convinced Pilate to have guards in front of His tomb, lest His disciples were to steal His body in the middle of the night. This request is funny to me because His disciples were distraught at Jesus' death and were not likely to think of, let alone execute, a body snatch. The tomb of Jesus is sealed and the people continue on to their homes. For many this is the end, but we have the benefit of knowing Jesus' death on the cross isn't the end.

The Last Supper

On day 5, Jesus sent Peter and John to make preparation for the Passover meal. Jesus gave the disciples very specific instructions, "Go into the city to a certain man and tell him, 'Teacher says: My appointed time is near. I am going to celebrate the Passover with my disciples at your house,'" (Matthew 26: 18). Peter and John went into the city and prepared the Passover. At evening, while Jesus was reclining at the table and the disciples were eating, Jesus told His disciples that one of them would betray Him. Of course, the disciples were surprised and saddened, each wanting to know if it was them. Jesus replied to their questioning, "The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born," (Matthew 26: 23-24). Judas, the one who would betray Jesus, then said, "Surely, you don't mean me, Rabbi?" (Matthew 26: 25). Jesus said it was him, who would betray him. There is clear acknowledgment that Jesus knows exactly who will betray him, although this is missed by the other disciples. 

After Jesus tells Judas that he will betray Him, he takes the bread and giving thanks, breaks it into pieces, one for each of His disciples. He tells them to eat the bread for it represents His body. He then takes a cup, gives thanks, and gives the cup to them, saying, "Drink from it, all  of you. This my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom," (Matthew 26: 27-29). Jesus continues to teach His disciples as He then washes their feet. Washing their feet showed them a huge honor and showed the nature of serving that Jesus wanted them to have in their lives. After Jesus washed their feet and the disciples ate, Judas left to finish his betrayal of Jesus.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus experienced agony and desired the disciples would keep watch and pray with Him. He knew what was about to happen, He desired the cup be taken from His lips, but knew He would do the will of the Father anyways. His heart was in agony, He called out to the Father, but His disciples fell asleep. His disciples missed the intensity of His agony and only the angels were there to comfort Him. Jesus rebuked them, but they fell asleep again, not realizing the preciousness of the moment they were in. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Judas came with Sanhedrin and soldiers, and with a kiss Judas betrayed Jesus. Jesus was arrested and His disciples fled Him, even Peter. Jesus is taken to the house of the High Priest as Sanhedrin is convened. All sorts of false allegations are brought forth against Jesus. Peter, who followed Jesus, betrays Jesus 3 times as he waits outside the house of the High Priest. 

If this were the end, day 5 would seem bleak. Jesus was arrested, His disciples had abandoned Him, and He was facing a trial that would end in His death. I imagine the sadness He must have felt, having watched His friends, the people He loved, abandon Him during His time of need. I have faced the betrayal, the abandonment, of people I loved and trusted. The pain is gut wrenching and the people who would have comforted you are gone. Fortunately, this is not wear Jesus' life ends. 

Silent Day

Today is day four, but no record of today was made in the Gospels. However, much activity would have been happening as Jesus was preparing for the Last Supper. Judas and Sanhedrin were also busy preparing for Jesus' arrest. Jesus remains in Bethany and stays the night there again. 

I understand the need for quiet days, when nothing seems to be happening, but I know that even on this silent day Jesus was busy. Tomorrow, Jesus will be arrested and I think that knowledge must have weighed heavily upon Him. This man, who He had invited along this journey with Him, was going to betray Him and hand him over to be killed. I imagine a tension in the air as both Jesus and Judas knew what was about to happen. I wonder if the other disciples noticed, if they made a comment to one another, or if they continued on with their lives, not recognizing the intensity of the moment.