Lent

I apologize I am so late in writing this post on Lent. My intention was to write an introduction post to Lent on Ash Wednesday, February 10th, but that didn't happen. We are already 2 weeks into the season of Lent and my idea for the original post is now outdated, but I hope that my thoughts on Lent can help inspire you during your season of Lent.

Lent is a season of giving up and of conscious sacrifice in the 40 days (Sundays excluded) before Easter. Growing up I never participated in Lent and I honestly didn't understand the practice. I knew lots of people who did, but I personally couldn't get behind the idea. Then a few years ago I was introduced to this idea of Reverse Lent. Reverse Lent is a sacrifice of time and energy in the completion of service to Jesus. This might be spending a few minutes each day to thank someone for their presence in your life or to just encourage them in their faith or it might be a physical act of service. The last few years I have used my time and my gifts to work towards blessing others. Specifically, I have spent Lent crocheting blankets for specific organizations. The first year it was for Oliviana's Closet, the second year it was for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, and this year it is for Project Linus. Reverse Lent made more sense to me and felt of greater use to the Kingdom then giving up chocolate or something else. 

Then this year, prior to the start of Lent, insight into Lent came upon me and gave me understanding. I was reading a daily devotional, one that I had received in an email, about Jesus's fasting and temptation in the desert. It was while reading this devotional that I realized we give up something during the season of Lent so that we can experience temptation the way Jesus did. Yes, temptation is present in our lives everyday, regardless of whether we give up something or not, but we experience the greatest amount of temptation when we give up something we really want. Jesus fasted for 40 days and then was tempted. If He hadn't fasted then He would have been tempted to turn a rock into bread. In essence, if He didn't give something up then He wouldn't have experienced temptation. The purpose of Lent is not that we would be tempted, but that in being tempted, we would not succumb to temptation. Lent is a season of relying on God for what we need, a period of growing closer to Him, and a celebration of victory over temptation. The idea is that if we could overcome this temptation then we could overcome any temptation. Lent is a conscious time of practice and learning about and overcoming temptation. It prepares us for those times of unexpected temptation that will arrive in other areas of our lives. 

My views and practices of Lent have changed this year. My season of Lent exists in 3 parts: I am reading through the gospels, I am setting aside time daily to work on the blankets for Project Linus, and I am resisting the urge to fight my battle on my own. My pastor had challenged my church to read through the gospels before Easter in an effort to remind us that man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from God. I accepted his challenge because Lent should be a period of growing closer to God and depending on Him for our substance. I am making a conscious effort to use my gifts to be of service to God. This should be a regular practice, but I have noticed that if it isn't conscious then it can be easy to make excuses and engage in other activities. Finally, I prayed to God before Lent and asked Him to impress upon my heart anything that He might want me to give up during Lent. There was only one thing that continually came to mind throughout this time of prayer. If you have read any of my posts from this year then you know that I have been fighting a battle. This battle is figurative, but nevertheless challenging. Throughout this time I have been struggling with trying to be patient and let God fight the battle for me. I know what I should do, but there have still been times when I have been tempted to take matters into my own hands and it backfired miserably. Because of this, I believe God impressed it upon my heart to not take matters into my own hands and to rely on Him to fight for me. 

The aspects of my Lent aren't traditional, especially the last part, but together these different parts are working in my life. Reading through the gospels has served as a refresher course for me and has reminded me to live a life more like the life Jesus would want me to live. There is also this idea that I should know the word of God more intimately and that in knowing I will have understanding and in understanding it will be easier to live out. Working on the blankets for Project Linus has been a reminder of how fortunate I am and an encouraging conviction to help those that have less. Choosing different organizations forces me to learn about different groups of people in need. I have been most blessed by the last aspect of my Lent. The last 2 weeks I have trusted God, I have resisted the temptation to get involved, and He has blessed me immensely. In giving up control, I didn't lose anything, but instead experienced God's presence in every interaction. I was able to recognize His answers to my prayers or unvoiced areas of concern and to see how He was working in the life of someone I love. It has been a wonderful experience. 

That said, I haven't been 100% faithful to this experience. A few days ago, I did intervene and attempt to take control. I did it because I needed an answer and that answer was time sensitive, but I was too impatient to wait to see how God would answer my concern. Because of my impatience, I robbed myself of the opportunity to see God provide and to experience His ultimate blessing. Yet, I think this is an important lesson. There will be times when we fail and in failing we miss an experience with God, but even when we fail God doesn't leave us. He is right there waiting for us to come back to Him and to experience His blessing again. I will never know what might have happened if I hadn't intervened or how I would have experienced God in that moment. I can't get that moment back, but I can learn from it. There is plenty of temptation to intervene and attempt to take control in this battle, but I am learning and I am choosing to step back, allowing God to step in and fight for me. I don't know what is going to happen, but I know that at the end of this Lent season I am going to have experienced God in new ways and that is worth the sacrifice. 

God-Ordained Goals

Today I discovered this quote, "If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting!" It can be so easy to be caught up in the battle that we forget what we are fighting for. Maybe we have fought so long that we are only fighting to survive. I can understand because I am fighting my own fight, a fight that seems to have lasted for years, with the only thing changing the person. You see sometimes we get caught up in the fighting that we begin to fight for temporary relief instead of the cure that we need. I was thinking about this when I came across something else: an article from FaithGateway about setting God-ordained goals.

After reading this article, my thoughts drifted to goals I wanted to achieve this year, as well as who I wanted to achieve them with, and I know that to achieve the second aspect of this goal I would need God's help. The article suggested that all goals should start and end with God, hence the name God-ordained goals. We can do this through prayer. I have taken one goal tonight and circled that goal in prayer. I told God what I wanted and what I hoped to achieve in this goal. I then asked Him two questions pertaining to this goal: Is it Your will for me to do this this year? AND Is it Your will for me to do this with this person this year? I asked specific questions because I wanted specific answers. I also prayed that if His will was yes, but different from what I had planned that He would show this to me. I finished by meditating on Philippians 4:6-7, "To pray is to let go and let God take over."

I think setting God-ordained goals is important because it shifts our goal outlook back to God. This is particularly important when we feel we are entrenched in the battle. In the middle of a fight, a battle that won't end, I think we should set a goal: at the end of this, I want to have/experience/grow. Then you should take this goal to God and see what His will is for this. Your goal might be a life with someone, but God's will might be for someone else to come into your life. Pray and tell God your goal for this battle, but then ask Him if that is His will for you and make sure you listen to His answer. 

If we aren't careful to continually go to God in prayer, especially in the heat of an intense battle, we can find ourselves fighting for temporary relief instead of the cure that God wants for us. I think this is especially true in relationships: we fight so hard for a person because we want them to fulfill our status (marriage, kids, family, etc.), but we end up missing God's will for that status. The goal shouldn't be this person (there are some exceptions to this, i.e. if you are married to this person), but rather seeking God's will in bringing the person He wants into your life. 

Yes, it means relinquishing control, but the reality is that the end result was never yours to decide and following God's will will lead you out of the battle and into the blessing. Set goals, even ones that seem impossible, and circle them in prayer, being sure that your goals align with God's will. Then you will begin to see the potential for the size of the blessing at the end of every battle. 

November Challenge: Day 14

The last few days I feel as if I have been running nonstop. Between surgery, home projects, and running errands today I feel like I am running on empty. My full steam ahead mentality crashed today  after retuning from the grocery store to a series of questions and an ever lengthening to-do list, a to-do list made by everyone other than me. The result is exhaustion and an overall lack of motivation. That said, today I am thankful for knitting. After these past few days, to just sit and knit while sipping on hot chocolate is a blessing. I am grateful that I was taught how to knit, that I have retained that ability, and that I have the materials necessary to participate in this hobby.

Since I was a little girl I have always been fascinated with knitting and even tried to teach myself how to knit a few times, but was largely unsuccessful. Then in my junior year of high school my English teacher started a knitting club, which a group of my friends and I gladly joined. Both my English and biology teachers taught me how to knit and I have been knitting ever since. The very first project I ever made was a scarf, which I made for my sister-in-law to welcome her into the family. My next project was a beanie and I quickly became the source of handmade beanies for all of my friends.

The aspect of knitting that I enjoy the most is the way it forces me to relax when I am working on a project. I can sit down in front of a movie or tv show and just let the stress of the day work its way out as I alternate between knit and purl stitches. I almost always end up processing thoughts I had been trying to avoid and usually draw some sort of conclusion when I have finished knitting, plus I also have an awesome project completed too. The benefits of knitting are so wonderful that a San Francisco Children's Hospital even has volunteers teach parents how to knit in order for them to release and channel their stress during their child's hospital stay.

I am very thankful for the ability to knit and to release my stress as I work on a project. I am grateful for the completion of my knit infinity scarf, which I can proudly start wearing in the upcoming days. I am thankful for the teachers I have had in my life that have blessed me with so much more than knowledge in a subject. It is 9 years later and I am still being blessed by their act of kindness in teaching me how to knit and because of them I am able to bless others with the items I have knit. What are you thankful for today?