Lent

I apologize I am so late in writing this post on Lent. My intention was to write an introduction post to Lent on Ash Wednesday, February 10th, but that didn't happen. We are already 2 weeks into the season of Lent and my idea for the original post is now outdated, but I hope that my thoughts on Lent can help inspire you during your season of Lent.

Lent is a season of giving up and of conscious sacrifice in the 40 days (Sundays excluded) before Easter. Growing up I never participated in Lent and I honestly didn't understand the practice. I knew lots of people who did, but I personally couldn't get behind the idea. Then a few years ago I was introduced to this idea of Reverse Lent. Reverse Lent is a sacrifice of time and energy in the completion of service to Jesus. This might be spending a few minutes each day to thank someone for their presence in your life or to just encourage them in their faith or it might be a physical act of service. The last few years I have used my time and my gifts to work towards blessing others. Specifically, I have spent Lent crocheting blankets for specific organizations. The first year it was for Oliviana's Closet, the second year it was for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, and this year it is for Project Linus. Reverse Lent made more sense to me and felt of greater use to the Kingdom then giving up chocolate or something else. 

Then this year, prior to the start of Lent, insight into Lent came upon me and gave me understanding. I was reading a daily devotional, one that I had received in an email, about Jesus's fasting and temptation in the desert. It was while reading this devotional that I realized we give up something during the season of Lent so that we can experience temptation the way Jesus did. Yes, temptation is present in our lives everyday, regardless of whether we give up something or not, but we experience the greatest amount of temptation when we give up something we really want. Jesus fasted for 40 days and then was tempted. If He hadn't fasted then He would have been tempted to turn a rock into bread. In essence, if He didn't give something up then He wouldn't have experienced temptation. The purpose of Lent is not that we would be tempted, but that in being tempted, we would not succumb to temptation. Lent is a season of relying on God for what we need, a period of growing closer to Him, and a celebration of victory over temptation. The idea is that if we could overcome this temptation then we could overcome any temptation. Lent is a conscious time of practice and learning about and overcoming temptation. It prepares us for those times of unexpected temptation that will arrive in other areas of our lives. 

My views and practices of Lent have changed this year. My season of Lent exists in 3 parts: I am reading through the gospels, I am setting aside time daily to work on the blankets for Project Linus, and I am resisting the urge to fight my battle on my own. My pastor had challenged my church to read through the gospels before Easter in an effort to remind us that man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from God. I accepted his challenge because Lent should be a period of growing closer to God and depending on Him for our substance. I am making a conscious effort to use my gifts to be of service to God. This should be a regular practice, but I have noticed that if it isn't conscious then it can be easy to make excuses and engage in other activities. Finally, I prayed to God before Lent and asked Him to impress upon my heart anything that He might want me to give up during Lent. There was only one thing that continually came to mind throughout this time of prayer. If you have read any of my posts from this year then you know that I have been fighting a battle. This battle is figurative, but nevertheless challenging. Throughout this time I have been struggling with trying to be patient and let God fight the battle for me. I know what I should do, but there have still been times when I have been tempted to take matters into my own hands and it backfired miserably. Because of this, I believe God impressed it upon my heart to not take matters into my own hands and to rely on Him to fight for me. 

The aspects of my Lent aren't traditional, especially the last part, but together these different parts are working in my life. Reading through the gospels has served as a refresher course for me and has reminded me to live a life more like the life Jesus would want me to live. There is also this idea that I should know the word of God more intimately and that in knowing I will have understanding and in understanding it will be easier to live out. Working on the blankets for Project Linus has been a reminder of how fortunate I am and an encouraging conviction to help those that have less. Choosing different organizations forces me to learn about different groups of people in need. I have been most blessed by the last aspect of my Lent. The last 2 weeks I have trusted God, I have resisted the temptation to get involved, and He has blessed me immensely. In giving up control, I didn't lose anything, but instead experienced God's presence in every interaction. I was able to recognize His answers to my prayers or unvoiced areas of concern and to see how He was working in the life of someone I love. It has been a wonderful experience. 

That said, I haven't been 100% faithful to this experience. A few days ago, I did intervene and attempt to take control. I did it because I needed an answer and that answer was time sensitive, but I was too impatient to wait to see how God would answer my concern. Because of my impatience, I robbed myself of the opportunity to see God provide and to experience His ultimate blessing. Yet, I think this is an important lesson. There will be times when we fail and in failing we miss an experience with God, but even when we fail God doesn't leave us. He is right there waiting for us to come back to Him and to experience His blessing again. I will never know what might have happened if I hadn't intervened or how I would have experienced God in that moment. I can't get that moment back, but I can learn from it. There is plenty of temptation to intervene and attempt to take control in this battle, but I am learning and I am choosing to step back, allowing God to step in and fight for me. I don't know what is going to happen, but I know that at the end of this Lent season I am going to have experienced God in new ways and that is worth the sacrifice. 

Journey to Bethlehem: An Advent Challenge

For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that all who believed in Him would be saved and have everlasting life. John 3:16

This Christmas, let us remember and celebrate God's love for us. It was through His love that we were saved from the darkness. Don't believe me? Let us personalize this truth: For God so loved you that He gave His only son for you, that if you believe in Him, you will be saved and have everlasting life. God did not give His son for a planet, Jesus did not die on a cross for the globe, but for you! You were loved by God before you ever existed. God gave His son for you. Jesus died for you.

Silent night, holy night

All is calm, all is bright

Round yon virgin Mother and Child

Holy infant, so tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly peace

Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night

Shepherds quake at the sight

Glories stream from heaven afar

Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia

Christ, the Savior is born

Christ, the Savior is born

This is what made Jesus' birth so holy, so magical. Until then God had never given His son for mankind. He had done wonderful things for mankind, but not this, a complete sacrifice for an undeserving people. Why did God sacrifice His only son for an undeserving people? Because He loved us and desired a relationship with us, a relationship that would last beyond our lives on earth. If our relationship wasn't going to last beyond our physical lives then there would be no point. But God didn't want His relationship with us to end and gave His son that we might be able to live with Him forever. I say might because it is our decision to make. God doesn't force us to choose, but rather embraces us when we make the choice on our own. The choice is yours. 

Do you have room in your inn for Jesus this Christmas?

It Is Better To Obey

"But Samuel answered, 'What pleases the Lord more: burnt offerings and sacrifices or obedience to His voice? It is better to obey than to sacrifice. It is better to listen to God then to offer the fat of sheep.'" 

1 Samuel 15:22

Saul thought he had obeyed God or rather he thought he knew what God really meant when He commanded Saul to kill every living thing of the Amalekites. Saul disobeyed God and kept the king, along with the best cattle and sheep. When he was confronted about his disobedience, he argued he had been obedient and offered the animals as a sacrifice to God. Yet, God clearly said "leave no living thing." Saul's argument is proof of his disobedience. His intentions may have been honorable, but he still disobeyed God. Samuel explains this to Saul, stating, "it is better to obey than to sacrifice." 

I think this passage is interesting because we tend to be like Saul in this moment. We read scripture and we interpret it the way we want. We assume we know what God really meant when He said X, Y, or Z in the Bible. God did not invite us to interpret His word, but instead to read it and then to live it. Not every passage is straight forward in present times because it was written in a different culture with different expectations for understanding, but these passages can be understood when you study the Bible, as well as its history. The point is when God commands us to do something we need to obey every word and not just what we feel is right. This type of thinking [assuming we know what God meant] is what cost Saul his kingship in Israel. 

Love is Honorable

S scripture: "Live with your wives in an understanding way...and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life." 1 Peter 3:7

O observation: Love is honorable. "Of all the relationships I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I am willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults - past and present - I still choose to love and honor you," (The Love Dare). To honor someone is to set them apart and to acknowledge they are someone special, called for a higher purpose. When you love someone you bring them honor, you value them, and you sacrifice for them because they are set apart.

A application: Honor isn't an option. The love in my heart sets him apart and gives me the desire to sacrifice for him. The honor isn't the problem, but the pain that comes from being rejected. I don't know how to stop the pain without taking away his honor, but love is honorable. I must continue to honor him and trust the rest to God.

P prayer: God, my heart is hurting. Honor is so far from being reciprocated that I have forgotten what it looks like, feels like, and acts like. Yet You have called me to love honorably and I must honor him even when my love is rejected. I ask for Your forgiveness for the times I devalued him or wanted to devalue him to avoid the pain of rejection. Help me that I would find understanding and gain insight. Thank You for Your wisdom. In Your loving name, Amen

Hosea And Love's Faithfulness

I prayed about today. I asked for an indication of my hope, I desired to know if my hope was sound, but if what happened today is meant as an indication, then my hope is gone. It is over. The last few days, today included, have been hard on me and I have struggled to understand while sorting through the pieces of my broken heart. Honestly, I am still confused and if I gain understanding in one area, it falls apart in light of some other area. Tonight, not willing to feel this way anymore, I prayed a selfish prayer. I asked for my feelings towards the one I love to be removed from my heart. I added if he wasn't going to be a part of my life, but the sentiment was the same, I didn't want to feel this way anymore.

Then I began to read and I read about Hosea. For those who don't know, Hosea was a powerful man and God told him to marry a prostitute. Hosea and the prostitute, Gomer, had a life together, he loved her very much, but Gomer was unfaithful anyways. A time goes by and God tells Hosea to renew his love for Gomer. This time he had to purchase her from the slave's block. Now their story is meant as an example of God's own love for us, but the story was incorporated into a larger message about love being faithful.

I read this passage and felt God pointing out the words, "love is faithful even when love isn't returned." I had prayed my prayer, no longer wanting to be tied to this other person, and God showed me He had no intention of answering that prayer. The love I feel in my heart, though it gives me pain, is meant to stay. Love is faithful. Love loves even when love isn't returned. There were the words, written in black and white, that showed the sacrifice I was expected to make. The sacrifice being the continued feelings of heartache I will still have. 

I don't know the purpose of this, but I can't deny God wants me to keep loving. It kind of fits with this morning though, when I told the one I love that I loved him, knowing that he wouldn't respond or return the love in any way. Sometimes the words are more their benefit, even if you don't see the results, than for our own. I didn't need him to tell me he loved me, although it is always nice to hear I love you.

Unconditional Love

A few days ago I was eating dinner with a friend and he said, "Did you know research has now shown love is conditional?" His question threw me off guard, rendering me temporarily speechless, because I believe true love is unconditional and reflect God's love for us. Today, his comment came to me again and I thought, "No, love is not conditional, but unconditional. Love is a choice." Love is very much a choice we make everyday. Yes, the initial stirrings of love are involuntary, but what remains after time and struggle is a choice. Every day you wake up and decide through your words and your actions that you will love that person. 

Back in September, I knew the one I loved was going to have a difficult weekend and I chose each moment to love him, to not be quick to anger, and to show him he was valued in my life. I will freely admit that weekend was not easy. There were a lot of thing that upset me and caused me pain, things that I could have justifiably been upset about, but I endured. At the end of the weekend he felt valued and I survived putting his needs first. I know I am not perfect and at times my love will fall short, but I also know each day it is a choice. There was a time when that weekend would not have been possible, when I would have felt the need to express that I was upset, and to demand my own way. Then I came across the Love Dare and decided to give it a try. I really enjoy reading the Love Dare as it takes you to the place where unconditional love is not only possible, but a desire in your heart through 40 dares over 40 days. Reading the Love Dare was eye opening and I have read it 4 times over the last 3 years. 

Each time I read through the book, completing the dares, I feel as if I learn something new and am able to recognize the growth in my life. Right now I am in this place where I feel my unconditional love is being tested and I am struggling to be happy for him when what makes him happy is causing me pain. There are times when love makes sacrifices, but if the sacrifice is going to have to endure then I would like to make the best of it. I don't want to be upset or unhappy. I just want to love this person the way God loves me. Our struggle is valuable to our outcome and I take joy in the struggle that makes my love more like Jesus' love for me. It isn't going to be easy, but God is working it together for my good.