40-Day Detox: The Power of Prayer

I apologize that I didn't post an update sooner. I sat down to write this post, but honestly I didn't know what to say. Or how to express progress when it doesn't feel like any progress has been made. It has been 17 days since I started this journey, which means I am almost to the halfway mark and I thought I would have made more progress by this point. Not measuring up to expectations is never easy to deal with and can lead to disappointment. That is the point I was at when I sat down to write this update on Saturday and as a result I didn't post anything. My intention, when I sat down at my computer tonight, was not to write an update or even a post, but then I realized I had made progress.

Progress is not always measurable. Sometimes progress is just a slow increase in desired response and not something we even notice until it is complete. I had been measuring my progress by the results I could record and put on paper, but the results I wanted are not something that can be measured. Yes, I could measure my healthy eating habits and exercise, but the mental and spiritual progress I wanted is not something that can be measured. I know that I have not made progress on eating healthier or getting more exercise and that is an area I need to improve upon. But I have made progress in other areas. Tonight, as I sat down, I realized that I am happier than I was before this journey, I am learning to trust God more, and I am seeing spiritual truths happening in my life. 

I have always believed in the power of prayer, but during those times in my life when God seems silent, I know that my faith wavers. The last few weeks I have felt that God has been silent and I honestly didn't know what to think about my circumstances. I continued to pray, but I felt lost. In last week's post I reflected on my experience of honestly praying to God, in absolute silence, and having a wonderful experience of Him answering my prayers. He didn't answer immediately or directly, but when I received my answers, it was undeniable that it was God. Then last week I spent time in Max Lucado's devotional on the power of a simple prayer. My prayers last week were not necessarily short or simple, but they were heartfelt expressions of my circumstances that I decided to lay at God's feet. 

The strange thing is that after I prayed God again answered my prayers. Everything seemed to fall into place and my worries seemed to come to an end. Then a few days later everything fell apart and I honestly didn't know what to make of it. Suddenly, my answers were gone and I seemed to be back at square one. Again I prayed and I did my best to leave my concerns in that prayer, replacing worry with hope. Once again, my prayers were answered or at least mostly answered. Everything isn't solved by all means, but there are solutions in place and my concerns are being worked out. Prayer is powerful, but if we expect immediate results than chances are that we aren't going to see progress. We are going to imagine our prayers haven't been heard or aren't being answered and we are going to miss the little ways God has communicated with us along the way to our prayers being answered.

When God Says No

This week has been challenging for me and with a disappointed heart I found myself unable to write. A week ago I challenged myself to pray my own advice, seeking God's will in the outcome of the battle I was in, and I added parameters to hold myself accountable to His answer. As soon as I prayed this prayer I was filled with anxious thoughts and I felt certain I had made a mistake. Praying isn't a mistake, but in praying specifically I had opened myself up to confronting God's will, potentially in opposition to my own. If this battle weren't important to me then this prayer would have been easy, but this battle came from the recesses of my heart. The only thing I desired was God's yes in my participation in this battle and ultimately my victory in this battle. 

Unfortunately, every day this week I woke and went to bed filled with disappointment. I continued to pray, but the context of my prayers had shifted. I couldn't pray to change God's mind and I couldn't pray for the victory I desired because I needed to be open to God's will for this battle. I needed to pray, but I felt restricted and instead I prayed for the people involved in this battle. I prayed repeatedly for their well being and my own well being. The closer I came to the end of the time, given by the parameters of the original prayer, the more I prayed for my strength and understanding in the inevitable no that I was facing. This wasn't easy because I wanted to pray specifically for what my heart most desired, but I exercised control and prayed differently as I waited for God's answer. 

It was during this time that I came to understand exactly what it meant when God said no. This week I have been facing God's no and I really couldn't understand the purpose, but then I realized that in a no there are two possibilities. First, God is telling us no because He has something better for us or is preventing us from harm. If there is someone in our lives that has the potential to harm us then God is protecting us when He says no and removes them from our lives. Often this type of no is given in the context of a child, who desperately wants their toy fixed, but is afraid to let the toy go. It is only when the child lets the toy go that the toy is either repaired or the child is given a new toy, either way the outcome is better for the child. Personally, this type of no is difficult for me to accept because I like to believe that I know what is best for me and that what I desire is the best there is. This is faulty thinking since God is the only one capable of knowing what is best for each of us. 

The second type of no is much easier to imagine and accept because it is more of a not now rather than a no. This second no is the product of spiritual warfare over the outcome of our prayer. Satan is fighting on one side, his ultimate goal is to destroy you, and God is fighting on the other side, His ultimate goal is to prosper you. As you are waiting, assuming the answer is no, there is a battle happening over your answer and it is the battle itself that delays your answer. If this is your no then you can rest in the comfort that God is fighting your battle for you and the victory has been won. Again, this is not really a no and more of a not now, but because it feels like a no I think it is important to reference it when it feels God is telling you no.

When God is saying no, He is either promising something better or making us wait while He is fighting for us. Our response to God's no is important because it sets the stage for our future blessings. Until we are able to see His answer clearly, we are unable to distinguish a "No, I have something better for you," from "Not now, I am fighting for you," and must treat the answer given us as a no and respond accordingly. This week I was in this place, somewhere between a no and a not now, and I was disappointed. I wanted to ignore God's answer and to continue the battle as if nothing had happened, but I knew that would be foolish on my part because disobedience delays blessings. In the midst of my struggles, I prayed for strength and for wisdom. I prayed, giving full vent to everything I was feeling, and then made the decision to find a way to be obedient to God. I still had time in my given parameters and I would use this time to grieve, but that at the end, if the answer was still no, that I would move forward obedient to God. That was my prayer and if you are facing a no then I pray that you pray a similar prayer because God will give you understanding and will help you see why He is saying no. 

Take Your Own Advice

"Lord, if it's not Your will, let it slip through my grasp and give me the peace not to worry about it. Amen." 

Tonight, I repeat this prayer and rejoice in the quiet determination to listen to God's will. The lesson from yesterday left me convicted as I realized I hadn't honored my own advice. I am in a battle right now, a battle I have fought for nearly a year, and I have only prayed for my desired victory and not God's will for a victory. As much as I want our victories to be the same, I have to admit there is a possibility that they are not. I try to be attuned to God's will in my life, but I am also stubborn, wanting what I want. Today, I attempted to take my own advice and it was hard: I spent all day trying to pray.

My heart didn't want to pray that prayer and I fought all day to utter the words I needed to pray. Finally, I prayed and finally managed to ask God for His will in this battle: Do I continue to fight or do I give up? To give up would be to admit that I was fighting a battle God didn't want me in. It would also mean that I had wasted a year fighting when I could have been receiving His blessings instead. I also prayed in the context of parameters, something else I didn't want to do. Parameters meant the possibility of a much sooner disappointment if my intended victory was not God's will. My heart hated to do it, but I felt I needed the certainty and if God's will was different then I could end the battle a lot sooner than anticipated. My parameters were not the conclusion of the battle, but rather an indication of God's will. 

At the conclusion of my prayer, there resided in me the quiet determination to listen to God's will, whatever that might mean for my life. If we want to be successful in battle then we need to make sure the battle is actually God's will for us. 

God-Ordained Goals

Today I discovered this quote, "If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting!" It can be so easy to be caught up in the battle that we forget what we are fighting for. Maybe we have fought so long that we are only fighting to survive. I can understand because I am fighting my own fight, a fight that seems to have lasted for years, with the only thing changing the person. You see sometimes we get caught up in the fighting that we begin to fight for temporary relief instead of the cure that we need. I was thinking about this when I came across something else: an article from FaithGateway about setting God-ordained goals.

After reading this article, my thoughts drifted to goals I wanted to achieve this year, as well as who I wanted to achieve them with, and I know that to achieve the second aspect of this goal I would need God's help. The article suggested that all goals should start and end with God, hence the name God-ordained goals. We can do this through prayer. I have taken one goal tonight and circled that goal in prayer. I told God what I wanted and what I hoped to achieve in this goal. I then asked Him two questions pertaining to this goal: Is it Your will for me to do this this year? AND Is it Your will for me to do this with this person this year? I asked specific questions because I wanted specific answers. I also prayed that if His will was yes, but different from what I had planned that He would show this to me. I finished by meditating on Philippians 4:6-7, "To pray is to let go and let God take over."

I think setting God-ordained goals is important because it shifts our goal outlook back to God. This is particularly important when we feel we are entrenched in the battle. In the middle of a fight, a battle that won't end, I think we should set a goal: at the end of this, I want to have/experience/grow. Then you should take this goal to God and see what His will is for this. Your goal might be a life with someone, but God's will might be for someone else to come into your life. Pray and tell God your goal for this battle, but then ask Him if that is His will for you and make sure you listen to His answer. 

If we aren't careful to continually go to God in prayer, especially in the heat of an intense battle, we can find ourselves fighting for temporary relief instead of the cure that God wants for us. I think this is especially true in relationships: we fight so hard for a person because we want them to fulfill our status (marriage, kids, family, etc.), but we end up missing God's will for that status. The goal shouldn't be this person (there are some exceptions to this, i.e. if you are married to this person), but rather seeking God's will in bringing the person He wants into your life. 

Yes, it means relinquishing control, but the reality is that the end result was never yours to decide and following God's will will lead you out of the battle and into the blessing. Set goals, even ones that seem impossible, and circle them in prayer, being sure that your goals align with God's will. Then you will begin to see the potential for the size of the blessing at the end of every battle. 

November Challenge: Day 19

Today I am thankful for quiet. This week has been long, with several additional stresses, and I am so very glad it is Thursday. The need for quiet and rest today must have been evident because God blessed me with my client leaving an hour early, which meant I was also able to go home early and the house was quiet when I came home. The storm of yesterday had passed and in its place was a quietness and solitude. There wasn't the sight of a rainbow, but there is quiet and honestly that is just as good. As I close out my week, I am grateful for the opportunity for retreat and the break from responsibilities that are not truly my own. 

I cannot stress the importance of rest and retreat. The best part of my day is that moment when I get to enter into that time of quiet and solitude. My day is quite literally filled with noise from sunup until sundown and at a certain point I just need to retreat to a quiet place. My need for this is at times so great that I will forgo lunch with my coworkers to eat alone somewhere. It isn't that I can get rid of all of the background noises, but that I need that time without people constantly talking. That time of silence to think and to process my thoughts without all that extra noise. Every time I enter into a time of quiet and solitude I am entering into a time with God. 

Just as much as I need to turn off the noise to think I need to turn off the noise so that I can hear God's still small voice. Yes, God could reach me in all of the noise of the day, but that might mean He has to throw a brick at me and I don't want that. Every night I put away all of my electronics, close my door, and enter into quiet time. I spend the time reading scripture, reading a devotional, and talking to God in prayer.  This isn't the only time I pray, but this is the time I can pour my heart out to God and hand over to Him all of the things I am facing. Quiet time is an excellent time to give thanks to God (even remembering the specifics of your day for which you can be grateful), to offer Him all of your burdens, and to allow Him to speak to You concerning His will and direction for your life. 

Quiet time, time when you can be alone with God, is important. It doesn't matter when you do it during your day as long as you do it. A few months ago, during the summer, I also had quiet time with God in the mornings before work. I scheduled this time in my planner as Coffee with God and that is what I did, every morning before work I would sit at a coffee shop and enjoy coffee with God. When my schedule changed in fall I was no longer able to do it, but I can vouch that this time with God was an incredible way to start my day. That time was a time for me to refocus on God and I found that my heart was always at peace as I entered into the chaos of work. During summer I still had my quiet time in the evenings too so each work day started and ended in quiet time with God. This was a rewarding experience. If my daily schedule ever had consistent start times again I would definitely make coffee with God a part of my morning routine again. 

Silence is golden. I am so incredibly thankful for the quiet and rest that this evening has brought. I am thankful for quiet time alone with God. I am grateful that in a day filled with noise I can still find time to listen to God's still small voice. What are you thankful for today?

Missed Lessons

I apologize that I haven't posted anything in the last few days. My thoughts have been on things I cannot know or comprehend. There are questions that still need answers and there is a sense of melancholy when my thoughts go to them.  Monterey offered a reprieve, at first, but there are some thoughts, as well as feelings, that you can't run away from. I attempted to redirect my thoughts, but this was only translated to busyness. I had the compulsion to keep going even though my feet ached and my eyes were heavy. Exhausted, I still went another mile just to avoid my thoughts. The truth is you can't avoid your thoughts forever; they have a way of sneaking up on you in unguarded moments. Every night I attempted to think of the day's lessons, but all I could think of was how exhausted I felt. Monterey did provide me with design inspiration, but that only led to more racing thoughts and once again a compulsion to see those projects to completion. I continued to read scripture and to follow along in my devotional, but avoiding my thoughts seemed to translate into avoiding prayer. I was still praying, but my prayers were almost mechanical. This was unacceptable and I refuse to let this attitude flourish. I had a reprieve and now I am rededicating myself to this daily discovery of God's lessons in my life. I won't allow my thoughts to dictate my relationship with God. How many lessons of truth have I missed in just these last few days? 

Love Brings Unity

S scripture: "Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, that they may be one even as We are." John 17:11

O observation: Love brings unity. The scripture makes clear the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are one. There is unity between them and the unity makes the oneness possible; it allows for seamlessness between Them. If our model for love is Jesus then we too need unity with the one we love. We should be one and honor is only achieved if we first honor one another. This unity is not given, but a privilege to be striven for in love. 

A application: Work schedules, personality differences, and the circumstances of our lives all threaten unity. This is because the daily grind tends to make us lose focus of the bigger picture. We allow minute details to dictate responses and interactions in relationships. The focus on the daily struggle causes us to lose sight of the need to strive for unity. If we lose sight then unity is quickly dissolved. I know because I lost sight and small division became a wedge until it finally became a ravine. I am throwing my bridge out, but it has yet to reach the other side and there is no guarantee unity will be restored.

P prayer: God, I lost sight of unity and now face an impossible division. I ask for forgiveness and take heart knowing that You can do the impossible. I pray that the bridge to restoring unity would find ground. In Your loving name, Amen. 

Love's Motivation

S scripture: " Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men." Ephesians 6:7

O observation: Love's motivation. Love motivated by external conditions of feelings will not be sustained. If we only love because we are loved then love is unable to persevere when love isn't returned. Yet, we know, love loves even when love isn't returned. Love can persevere because love is from God. When we love as way of honoring God then we know we have an endless supply of love's characteristics, like patience, to love one another with. Love honors God, but it also benefits others, those He has allowed us to love.

A application: I have spent time trying this [render service as to the Lord], but quickly found myself "rendering service" as to the conditions of my circumstances. The problem with this response is that it perpetuates the conditions further so something bad goes to worse and it becomes a never-ending cycle. Yet when I choose to "render service" as to the Lord I found that worse things became better. Today I choose to persevere and to continue to render service as to the Lord; remembering His love and not the conditions or feelings I am facing.

P prayer: God, forgive me for not loving in a way that honors You. I have seen the difference and yet I continue on my own way, which always leads to heartache and disappointment. Help me to not be stubborn and to love in a way that honors You. In Your loving name, Amen. 

Love Makes Sacrifices

This summer has been incredibly difficult and in stark contrast to last summer. The depth of despair led to today's incredibly awkward experience at work where all of my frustration bubbled up into tears. Not tears, sobs, uncontrollable sobs. As I tried to stop crying and to busy myself with work, I couldn't help, but I help except feel ashamed. I had failed. I had allowed my physical experiences to control me and I succumbed to my emotions. I am embarrassed by my uncontrollable crying at work and over something I should have been able to prevent: burnout. Yet, today has two lessons worth sharing. 

First, take care of yourself to prevent burnout. Recognize your limits and be open to communicating those limits. Although in this situation I had expressed my limits and the situation didn't change. So I suggest being firm about your limits. After today's melt down I have a feeling people will listen to my words more. Make sure you are taking breaks and removing yourself from stress. This next week I am taking off of work and I am going to enjoy a vacation. After today, it is considered a much needed vacation. Second, your moment of "weakness" is a teaching opportunity for other people affected by a similar situation so try not to be ashamed. Today, dozens of new employees witnessed my crying and blood shot eyes, they had the opportunity to see a "veteran" become emotionally upset over frustration, and they witnessed my perseverance in continuing to work the rest of the day. When I was able to speak without crying or tearing up, I was able to explain my justified frustration and use my experience as a teaching tool for newer employees. Sometimes showing them what not to do is more valuable because they can see the consequences. 

S scripture: "He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers." 1 John 3:16

O observation: Love makes sacrifices. Jesus modeled love for us when He died on the cross. We had a need (to be saved) and He sacrificed His own life to meet it (salvation). He didn't complain about His needs or His hardships, but immediately recognized our needs and our hardships then sacrificed to meet the needs and end the hardships. Our love should be the same. We should recognize need without being told and sacrifice to meet those needs. We are to take care of one another and to provide for others.

A application: Today's lesson in love was about not being selfish, but I can only think about how today I need to be selfish, I need someone to recognize my need, and I need my need to be met. Yet, that isn't what the scripture says so today I pray for strength to endure and to sacrifice for love. I recognize how other people have attempted to meet my need even when I wished the one I love would, which reminds me to choose to be grateful for what I do have.

P prayer: God, my heart is heavy with need, but I pray for strength to endure and to be able to sacrifice for others. I thank You for the people who did recognize my need. Help me to be able to do the same for others and to be able to help them. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Encourages

S scripture: "Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You." Psalm 25:20

O observation: Love encourages. In this life we have expectations for other people, but because they are human those expectations aren't always met. The scriptures say to encourage one another, to not let them be ashamed, and to allow them to take refuge in your love. Yes, you could tell them their mistake or point out a shortcoming, but doing this will only make them defensive and less likely to consider your words. Instead love encourages and takes personal responsibility to improve itself.

A application: It is easy to become frustrated when we feel we have been wronged. The justification for our thoughts and our actions is easily thought up, but even if we are 100% right, telling them that will not bring about a changed heart. Worse, if we continue to nag them about our disappointment then we actually end up hardening their hearts toward us and the issue. I know because I have done this. Not encouraging led to the destruction of a relationship. I choose today to let go of unrealistic expectations and to encourage instead of voicing my disappointment. 

P prayer: God, I have allowed expectations and justifications to lead me to believe I was right to be upset AND to voice my disappointment. I was wrong. Forgive me for forgetting love encourages. Help me to release unrealistic expectations from my heart and to encourage in love. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Responsible

S scripture: "When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things." Romans 2:1

O observation: Love is responsible. When we do or say something wrong or hurtful it is easy to judge another person and to pass the blame: "if they hadn't done (fill in the blank), then I wouldn't have (again, fill in the blank)." The scripture says that when we do this we are condemning ourselves because we are doing the same thing. The wrong or hurt committed by another person doesn't justify you committing a wrong or hurt in response. Love is responsible for its actions, it listens instead of thinking of a comeback, and confesses when it has done wrong.

A application: Oh, how easy it is to condemn others while justifying our own actions. In life people will wrong us, cause us hurt, AND we will inevitably do the same thing. That is part of being human. Yet, we are called to be responsible for our actions. Today, I choose to listen and to think before I act in response to a hurt. I choose to be responsible for my actions and confess my wrong doings. I choose to not worry if others have done the same because that is their responsibility.

P prayer: God, taking responsibility is difficult, but I know I will be held accountable. Help me to recognize my wrongdoings and to be responsible for my actions. Love is responsible. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Forgives

S scripture: "What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ." 2 Corinthians 2:10

O observation: Love forgives. The scriptures says we are to forgive. Forgiveness does not absolve a person from their wrong doing, but instead turns the problem over to God. Forgiveness is choosing to let God handle it (vengeance is the Lord's) and to put away the scripted arguments (after all God is taking care of it, not you). The act of forgiveness is like releasing yourself from prison and being filled with peace. If for nothing else, love forgives because God forgave us through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Even Jesus forgave the men who put Him on the cross, even as He lay their dying He used his last few words to offer forgiveness (Luke 23:34). If Jesus, in agony, could forgive then we can forgive in our hurt. 

A application: I have found that if someone says they are sorry or shows signs of regret then I am quickly able to offer forgiveness, but if they aren't remorseful for the hurt they have caused then I become angry and my heart hardens towards them. I do forgive them, usually after a day, but it isn't instantaneously or in the middle of hurt. I choose today to forgive like Jesus and to allow God to sort it out for me.

P prayer: God, help me to forgive as quickly as Jesus forgave on the cross. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Vs. Lust

S scripture: "The world is passing away, and also its lust; but the one who does the will of God lives forever." 1 John 2:17

O observation: Love vs. Lust. Lust allows us to believe lies and to desire what is forbidden. Eve believed the words of the serpent, lusted after the forbidden fruit, and ultimately consumed the fruit that led to her destruction. Lust is in opposition to love. Love cherishes while lust destroys and longs for more. Scripture says that lust will pass away, but love will last forever.

A application: Lust, in relationship to love, is not just about or going after another person; it is any person, object, ambition, or hobby that takes away your focus from the one you love. Desiring success isn't necessarily sinful, but it shouldn't come at the expense of others (i.e. sabotaging a coworker or ignoring the one you love, etc.). Today, I choose to examine my priorities and refocus on the one I love. The world will pass away, but the will of God lives forever.

P prayer: God, it is easy to become caught up in this world and to even lust after worldly things. I have desired more instead of being content with what I have already, which is more than enough. Please forgive me for the lustful thoughts in my heart. Remind me the world is passing away and refocus my heart, as well as my priorities, back on You, for Your will lives forever. In Your loving name, Amen. 

Love Always Protects

S scripture: "[Love] always protects." 1 Corinthians 13:7

O observation: Love always protects. Love protects from harmful influences, shame, and addictions. There is a real need to protect love because there are outside forces threatening to destroy it. These forces come from unrealistic expectations, relationships with others that think love isn't a priority, and addictions that take your time/energy/money away from  the one you love. For lack of a shepherd, the scriptures say the flock falls prey.

A application: I haven't always protected love. I have allowed love to be destroyed by forces intent on feasting upon it. I have allowed relationships to dictate standards that weren't ever an issue until I listened to their poisonous advice. I have allowed negative thoughts to pour from my mouth without regards to their effect on love. I have fallen short. I choose today to protect my "flock" and to keep it from falling prey for lack of a shepherd. 

P prayer: God, forgive me for allowing my love to be preyed upon and for allowing my heart to be poisoned by outside forces. I don't deserve another chance to protect my love, but if it is Your will that I have another change, I pray that I would protect it always. I ask that You would make me a wise shepherd, able to protect my flock from all harm. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Faithful

S scripture: "I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord." Hosea 2:20

Observation: Love is faithful. The scriptures say God called Hosea to demonstrate His unconditional love for us through Hosea's marriage to a prostitute, Gomer. Gomer and Hosea had a life together, but Gomer was unfaithful and ended up on the slave's block to be sold. Again, God called Hosea to love Gomer and get her back. This is a symbol of God's love for us and our model for love. Love is faithful even when it is not returned. 

A application: Because Jesus' unconditional love for us is in us we can pour our undeserved love on others. My love isn't being returned and rejection is painful, but the scriptures tell me love is faithful and my model of love is God not the world. I could harden my heart or even repay what has been done to me, that is the world's advice, but instead I choose to love. I choose to be faithful in love.

P prayer: God, You know my heart has been weary, tired of waiting for love to be returned, and ready for relief from the pain of rejection. I have prayed for love to end and that was wrong: love is faithful. Please forgive me for my selfishness and trying to circumvent Your command. Fill me with the love only You can provide that I would be able to give it to him in a way that reflects my gratefulness to You for loving me. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Satisfied In God

S scripture: "The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire." Isaiah 58:11

O observation: Love is satisfied in God. There are needs we all have: the need to be loved and accepted. Yet these needs cannot be dependent upon a person or an object/hobby, etc. or we are continually being disappointed when needs go unmet. God is the only one who can meet all of our needs and thus our satisfaction can only be met through Him. When we are satisfied in God then we can be satisfied in others, forgiving them when they don't meet our needs. Satisfaction in God only comes from a relationship with Him.

A application: A relationship with God, that leads to satisfaction in Him, can only be achieved by being intention about reading His word. I have read His word daily for some time, but I worry that I'm not being intentional and instead reading it out of habit or worse out of an obligation. That isn't the way to lead to a satisfying relationship with God. Today I choose to be intentional, to read like I'm listening to God talk in a conversation, and to develop a satisfying relationship in Him.

P prayer: God, I'm sorry for losing my intentionality in reading Your word. Help me to develop an intentional heart and guide me in growing our relationship. I want to be satisfied in You and You alone. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Jesus Christ

S scripture: "While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly." Romans 5:6

O observation: Love is Jesus Christ. "He was willing to love me even though I didn't deserve it, even when I didn't love Him back. He was able to see all of my flaws and imperfections and still choose to love me. His love made the greatest sacrifice to meet my greatest need. As a result I am able (by His Grace) to walk in the fullness and blessing of His love. Now and forever," (Love Dare).

A application: I am not able to share this love with others. I can love even when I'm not loved in return. I can see all the flaws and imperfections of others and still choose to love. And though I can't meet the needs of others the way God can, I can become His instrument to meet their needs. Other people can walk in the fullness and blessing of my love.

P prayer: God, thank You for Your sacrifice. Thank You for seeing me and loving me even though I don't deserve it. Help me to keep Your sacrifice and Your love at the front of my thinking that I wouldn't wander away from You. I love You and the fellowship I have with You is very important to me. I pray that the love You have for me would be reflected in the love I have for others. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Is Impossible

S scripture: "Let us love one another, for love is from God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7
O observation: Love is impossible. Unconditional, sacrificial love is impossible outside of God. The love we can manufacture from our own hearts, apart from God, cannot keep us from becoming angry or forgiving an offense. Yet God allows His love to be poured our through us. God's love for others is expressed through us because He has given us the Holy Spirit. When we love the scripture says we are born of God and that we know God because love is from God.

A application: How great it is that God expresses His love for others through me! God is allowing me to love this person that He himself loves deeply and letting me know Him deeper by allowing me to love His child. Oh, but I have forgotten that loving someone is a privilege and something to be valued above all else. I have fallen short, but I choose today to love, to value love as a privilege, and to know God deeper through my love for others.

P prayer: God, I have fallen short and I ask for Your forgiveness in my shortcomings. I am sorry I forgot love was a privilege and took it for granted. I ask that You would help me to submit to the Holy Spirit and allow me to demonstrate Your unconditional love for the ones You love. I want to love that it would be said I know You. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Seeks To Understand

S scripture: "How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding." 

Proverbs 3: 13

O observation: Love seeks to understand. To find wisdom and understanding in love you must study the one you love. You must desire to know more about them than your favorite sports team or hobbies. Love seeks to understand their hopes, dreams, and fears, as well as to gain wisdom in the way they think. Understanding prevents conflict stemmed from different points of view.

A application: Our flesh, that has grown comfortable with this other person, convinces our hearts that we know our love and we don't need to spend countless hours studying them. The truth is very different: the one we love is a deep well and it would take a lifetime to reach the bottom. There is plenty unknown that needs to be known and studied. Love seeks to understand. Today I seek to know him greater and to increase my wisdom about him.

P prayer: God, my understanding has fallen short. I have allowed myself to be fooled and believed I understood when I didn't. I have allowed misunderstandings to bring conflict. Please forgive me for not seeking understanding. Help me to find wisdom and to gain understanding that I would be blessed. Help me to discern information given that I would be able to understand and avoid conflict. Help me to obtain the opportunity to learn more. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Promotes Intimacy

S scripture: "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." Proverbs 17:9

O observation: Love promotes intimacy. We are born into life with a hunger to be known, to be loved, and to be accepted. We want people to recognize who we are and to value us for it. Someone who knows us in this way has the power to love us at great depths or to wound us in unrecoverable ways. Love covers an offense and provides safety to the one's we love. Love is the shelter for our loved ones' secrets. If we promote shame instead then we create uneasiness and separate close relationships. Love covers over an offense.

A application: I haven't always protected the secrets of loved ones. I have allowed a desire for discussion to lead me to spill information that was a secret. The information led to feelings of shame and distrust. That isn't love. Love covers an offense and keeps secrets, except those that would lead to harm. I choose today to be mindful of the information I share with others.

P prayer: God, please forgive me for the secrets I have shared. Help me to foster restraint and self-control in the information I share. Remind me that love covers an offense and is a place of safety not shame. Help those I have hurt to forgive me and to learn to trust me again. Help me to be worry of their trust again. In Your loving name, Amen