Missed Lessons

I apologize that I haven't posted anything in the last few days. My thoughts have been on things I cannot know or comprehend. There are questions that still need answers and there is a sense of melancholy when my thoughts go to them.  Monterey offered a reprieve, at first, but there are some thoughts, as well as feelings, that you can't run away from. I attempted to redirect my thoughts, but this was only translated to busyness. I had the compulsion to keep going even though my feet ached and my eyes were heavy. Exhausted, I still went another mile just to avoid my thoughts. The truth is you can't avoid your thoughts forever; they have a way of sneaking up on you in unguarded moments. Every night I attempted to think of the day's lessons, but all I could think of was how exhausted I felt. Monterey did provide me with design inspiration, but that only led to more racing thoughts and once again a compulsion to see those projects to completion. I continued to read scripture and to follow along in my devotional, but avoiding my thoughts seemed to translate into avoiding prayer. I was still praying, but my prayers were almost mechanical. This was unacceptable and I refuse to let this attitude flourish. I had a reprieve and now I am rededicating myself to this daily discovery of God's lessons in my life. I won't allow my thoughts to dictate my relationship with God. How many lessons of truth have I missed in just these last few days? 

Step Out In Faith

There were consequences and there still are, circumstances are no longer in my favor, and I am not prepared. Today has been confusing, trying to understand why circumstances have changed, and trying to think of how I am going to deal with tomorrow. Tomorrow I will face the unpleasantness from earlier this week. What I have learned is that God might grant us a reprieve, but there will come a time when we have to deal with it. Looking back I regret asking God to change the circumstances because it only postponed the inevitable. A few hours of discomfort, with easy escape, are replaced with a day and no chance for escape. It is evident that it isn't wise to try to avoid something.

That said, even this is a part of God's plan, and as He writes my story I need to step out in faith, trusting He is there. There are those that say I don't have to deal with this, even that I shouldn't, and none that understand why I have to. I don't even understand why I have to do this, but I do. Tomorrow will be a test of everything I have and though I am scared, I have to go. I have to confront my fear and face reality. Tomorrow serves some purpose larger than me. I can't see it and I can't imagine the outcome, but I know it is there.

Faith is believing in God. Knowing that He is ABLE and GOING to do all that He said He would. I might not know His plan for tomorrow, but I do know that He said He is working it out fro my good and that means He is going to, even if isn't the way I imagined. God told Abraham, Moses, and Noah to trust Him and act in faith. They didn't fail Him, their stories were written, and are still told today. God is asking me to trust Him now too and I won't fail Him.

I don't know what you're being called to do, what you're afraid of, or even God's plan for your life, but I do know He is asking you to trust Him and step out in faith. He will be there to catch you if you should fall or to lift you on wings of eagles and let you soar.