November Challenge: Day 4

Happy Wednesday! I am thankful it is half-way through my work week. I am also happy that the weather has dramatically cooled down since last week. It is amazing the difference a few days can make on something. This is a helpful truth to remember when we are looking on our circumstances. A day can change anything from the weather to your own unique circumstances. In a day you can lose everything or gain the whole world. This is a scary thought to me, but it is also a comforting thought because our circumstances are not the end and this is a reality that we should all be thankful for. This year has been a year of difficult circumstances, tremendous change, and general upheaval in my life. If you have read my blog from the beginning than you are familiar with my hardships and if not, well than you are likely familiar with your own hardships. Today I spent time reflecting on my present circumstances and just how much has happened in this year, including every moment of sadness and every moment of joy. 

Our matching stamps from an aquarium trip

It is in this remembrance of the moments that brought me joy that I find today's blessing. Today I am thankful for the one I love, the one who can always make me laugh, and who makes my heart skip a beat every time I am with him. There have been plenty of moments that have brought me heartache, especially this year, but he can always bring a smile to my face and I am grateful for him. I love that I can be in a serious mood and he can look at me, say something random, and I can enter into that moment with him laughing. Yes, there are times when that random word or phrase is distracting and counterproductive to our conversation, but I am grateful that he knows the importance of not taking himself seriously. 

 With all of our ups and downs, I am grateful for the one who makes me laugh. What are you thankful for today?

Step Out In Faith

There were consequences and there still are, circumstances are no longer in my favor, and I am not prepared. Today has been confusing, trying to understand why circumstances have changed, and trying to think of how I am going to deal with tomorrow. Tomorrow I will face the unpleasantness from earlier this week. What I have learned is that God might grant us a reprieve, but there will come a time when we have to deal with it. Looking back I regret asking God to change the circumstances because it only postponed the inevitable. A few hours of discomfort, with easy escape, are replaced with a day and no chance for escape. It is evident that it isn't wise to try to avoid something.

That said, even this is a part of God's plan, and as He writes my story I need to step out in faith, trusting He is there. There are those that say I don't have to deal with this, even that I shouldn't, and none that understand why I have to. I don't even understand why I have to do this, but I do. Tomorrow will be a test of everything I have and though I am scared, I have to go. I have to confront my fear and face reality. Tomorrow serves some purpose larger than me. I can't see it and I can't imagine the outcome, but I know it is there.

Faith is believing in God. Knowing that He is ABLE and GOING to do all that He said He would. I might not know His plan for tomorrow, but I do know that He said He is working it out fro my good and that means He is going to, even if isn't the way I imagined. God told Abraham, Moses, and Noah to trust Him and act in faith. They didn't fail Him, their stories were written, and are still told today. God is asking me to trust Him now too and I won't fail Him.

I don't know what you're being called to do, what you're afraid of, or even God's plan for your life, but I do know He is asking you to trust Him and step out in faith. He will be there to catch you if you should fall or to lift you on wings of eagles and let you soar. 

God's Will

Today has been confusing and put a lot of weight on my heart. I woke up with the intent of sharing good news and rejoicing together in my success. The joy was short lived when I was made to feel guilty about my success and circumstances outside my control. Everyone seems to miss when something is unfair to you and only remember when it is unfair to them. I just wanted to be happy that a 9 year burden had been lifted off of my chest and that new possibilities were on the horizon. Instead I felt guilty for my success. 

It didn't help that I was already feeling down because circumstances prevented me from enjoying a favorite event of my youth. There were so many photos from today and I was filled with a longing to be present, but I knew I couldn't be. Yesterday was an eye opener and I need to be responsible for my feelings. Going to the event would have been inviting trouble for myself. I know it would open me up to feeling those feelings again and I don't want to go back to that dark space of anger.

I though about my feelings a lot today and couldn't align what I was feeling with God's direction for how to live our lives. It was confusing. I thought again about being a stubborn child who refuses to hear "no" and won't let go. My heart weighed heavy in my chest. I didn't know how to make sense of any of it. Then I tuned into a sermon on God's Will. It was the first sermon in the series and the focus was how you won't hear God's will: you won't hear God's will in your feelings, in the advice given you, in your culture, or in your circumstances. 

While the pastor repeated "God's will," I think it is important to make the distinction between how God wants us to live and how the things that happen (the good, the bad, the mistakes, the accidents, etc.) work together for our good. The Bible provides instructions on how we are suppose to live while everything working together for our good is one of God's truths that we live out. His will would be the Bible and His plans how everything works out. I think it is time I turn my focus to His will.