Expectations Not Met

If there was one thing about today it was that expectations weren't met. This morning I was as prepared as I could be to face my circumstances and the consequences that came with them. And honestly, I was doing pretty well, my nerves kept themselves in check. I prayed, but I didn't pray for my circumstances to change just that I would be ok. Then an unexpected thing happened, the unpleasantness never happened. There wasn't a need to brace myself or pretend I was ok when I wasn't. I can't quite explain why this happened, but I guess my willingness to step out in faith was enough.

I was able to enjoy the activities I wanted to repeat from last year, the activities I didn't know how to replicate, and I didn't have to do it alone. I am grateful and yet tonight I feel drained. Tonight my heart is heavy and my mind is on the circumstances outside of my control. The months of prayers haven't alleviated these feelings and it is hard to imagine an end. I pray God's will be done. 

Step Out In Faith

There were consequences and there still are, circumstances are no longer in my favor, and I am not prepared. Today has been confusing, trying to understand why circumstances have changed, and trying to think of how I am going to deal with tomorrow. Tomorrow I will face the unpleasantness from earlier this week. What I have learned is that God might grant us a reprieve, but there will come a time when we have to deal with it. Looking back I regret asking God to change the circumstances because it only postponed the inevitable. A few hours of discomfort, with easy escape, are replaced with a day and no chance for escape. It is evident that it isn't wise to try to avoid something.

That said, even this is a part of God's plan, and as He writes my story I need to step out in faith, trusting He is there. There are those that say I don't have to deal with this, even that I shouldn't, and none that understand why I have to. I don't even understand why I have to do this, but I do. Tomorrow will be a test of everything I have and though I am scared, I have to go. I have to confront my fear and face reality. Tomorrow serves some purpose larger than me. I can't see it and I can't imagine the outcome, but I know it is there.

Faith is believing in God. Knowing that He is ABLE and GOING to do all that He said He would. I might not know His plan for tomorrow, but I do know that He said He is working it out fro my good and that means He is going to, even if isn't the way I imagined. God told Abraham, Moses, and Noah to trust Him and act in faith. They didn't fail Him, their stories were written, and are still told today. God is asking me to trust Him now too and I won't fail Him.

I don't know what you're being called to do, what you're afraid of, or even God's plan for your life, but I do know He is asking you to trust Him and step out in faith. He will be there to catch you if you should fall or to lift you on wings of eagles and let you soar.