November Challenge: Day 7

Today I am thankful for friendships. The last two weeks I have been struggling with something that happened in my personal life and I haven't felt able to talk to anyone about the situation. I knew of a few people that I could talk to, even people I wanted to talk to, but in my heart I knew that I couldn't talk to anyone about what happened. There was shame and a fear of judgment, which made me withdraw from relationships. I didn't know how to be honest when answering friend's questions without telling them about what had happened. This was something I struggled with for the last two weeks and something I spent a lot of time praying about. Last night and this morning my prayers were answered in the unexpected text message of a friend. I was able to be honest with her without revealing my personal struggle, but God knew that I needed to talk to her about what had happened and prompted her to keep asking questions that eventually led to the truth. I needed to unload what I had been feeling for the last two weeks and have them understand. I told my friend everything that had happened and I didn't feel judgement or shame. It was a relief to not carry that burden alone anymore. 

Scripture teaches us that God wants us to have these relationships and these friendships so that when we stumble we have someone to help us back up. God gave us marriage so that we had a partner for life, but He also gave us friendships because it isn't good for human beings to be alone. I have a tendency to forget the importance of these relationships, but I sure am grateful God didn't forget. He sent me my friend when I needed her and for the first time in two weeks I feel I can go forward stronger. Today I am very thankful for friendship. What are you thankful for today?

Love Promotes Intimacy

S scripture: "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." Proverbs 17:9

O observation: Love promotes intimacy. We are born into life with a hunger to be known, to be loved, and to be accepted. We want people to recognize who we are and to value us for it. Someone who knows us in this way has the power to love us at great depths or to wound us in unrecoverable ways. Love covers an offense and provides safety to the one's we love. Love is the shelter for our loved ones' secrets. If we promote shame instead then we create uneasiness and separate close relationships. Love covers over an offense.

A application: I haven't always protected the secrets of loved ones. I have allowed a desire for discussion to lead me to spill information that was a secret. The information led to feelings of shame and distrust. That isn't love. Love covers an offense and keeps secrets, except those that would lead to harm. I choose today to be mindful of the information I share with others.

P prayer: God, please forgive me for the secrets I have shared. Help me to foster restraint and self-control in the information I share. Remind me that love covers an offense and is a place of safety not shame. Help those I have hurt to forgive me and to learn to trust me again. Help me to be worry of their trust again. In Your loving name, Amen

Confession

The mistakes of yesterday turn into the consequences of today. Yesterday I made things worse when I tried to make it better. Motives are of little solace when the results are a mess. I think consequences would be easier to deal with if you didn't know they affected other people. The truth is our actions affect other people, good or bad our consequences affect them too. I am reminded of the two part confession: first confess to God and second confess to one another.

I don't know if what happened is a sin, but it definitely was a mistake that made a mess. Yesterday I confessed to God, though He watched me in my stupidity, and prayed for understanding. Today I had to confess my mistake to my friend. I had to admit my stupidity, my mess, and his continued presence in the middle. Within that moment there was the desire to tell him and also to not say a word, but personal responsibility means admitting your mistakes, especially when they affect other people.

I confessed and over the next few hours we talked. Tonight our friendship grew and I was able to find comfort in his perspective. He seemed confident in his assessment and I didn't have to hid how I was feeling. It was nice to be honest and to not feel judged. Confession doesn't have to be a disaster or a burden. Instead it can be the release of shame and the opportunity for peace.