I apologize that I haven't posted anything in the last few days. My thoughts have been on things I cannot know or comprehend. There are questions that still need answers and there is a sense of melancholy when my thoughts go to them. Monterey offered a reprieve, at first, but there are some thoughts, as well as feelings, that you can't run away from. I attempted to redirect my thoughts, but this was only translated to busyness. I had the compulsion to keep going even though my feet ached and my eyes were heavy. Exhausted, I still went another mile just to avoid my thoughts. The truth is you can't avoid your thoughts forever; they have a way of sneaking up on you in unguarded moments. Every night I attempted to think of the day's lessons, but all I could think of was how exhausted I felt. Monterey did provide me with design inspiration, but that only led to more racing thoughts and once again a compulsion to see those projects to completion. I continued to read scripture and to follow along in my devotional, but avoiding my thoughts seemed to translate into avoiding prayer. I was still praying, but my prayers were almost mechanical. This was unacceptable and I refuse to let this attitude flourish. I had a reprieve and now I am rededicating myself to this daily discovery of God's lessons in my life. I won't allow my thoughts to dictate my relationship with God. How many lessons of truth have I missed in just these last few days?
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