Personal Responsibility

Today is about a lesson in personal responsibility. Personal responsibility is hard to come by in recent years. It doesn't matter who you are, taking responsibility for your actions without passing blame is difficult. I don't know why taking responsibility is so hard and that isn't saying taking personal responsibility is easy for me. I just mean that I don't have an easy explanation for why it is so hard. Is it pride, fear of judgment, an obsession with other people's opinions? Whatever the reason, taking personal responsibility is difficult, but is necessary for strong relationships with God and others.

Today I was challenged to identify areas I needed to take responsibility for my actions, to pray and become right with God, and then to take responsibility for my actions with the people I had wronged. I attempted to do this, but nothing weighed on my heart and I even prayed for God to show me. It isn't that I haven't wronged anyone, but that I try to take responsibility and apologize when my actions have wounded someone. There is one relationship I am seeking to restore and so my intent is to ask him directly if there is any hurt I have caused that wasn't made amends for. The opportunity didn't present itself today, but when it does I am prepared to take responsibility.

I went about today and then was reminded of another person. The feelings I felt towards this person were unpleasant and I realized I was on the verge of hating this person. I took responsibility for these feelings and asked God to help me deal with these feelings. Part of that was exploring why I was feeling the way I was. Now that I am aware of these feelings and have some understanding of the reasons behind these feelings, I can take responsibility and hopefully prevent these feelings from turning into actions. 

I don't really have answers and there are more than a few loose ends, but I know that I need to take personal responsibility for all of my actions and feelings. This is what I can control, this is what I can do to make my relationships right with God and others.