If there was one thing about today it was that expectations weren't met. This morning I was as prepared as I could be to face my circumstances and the consequences that came with them. And honestly, I was doing pretty well, my nerves kept themselves in check. I prayed, but I didn't pray for my circumstances to change just that I would be ok. Then an unexpected thing happened, the unpleasantness never happened. There wasn't a need to brace myself or pretend I was ok when I wasn't. I can't quite explain why this happened, but I guess my willingness to step out in faith was enough.
I was able to enjoy the activities I wanted to repeat from last year, the activities I didn't know how to replicate, and I didn't have to do it alone. I am grateful and yet tonight I feel drained. Tonight my heart is heavy and my mind is on the circumstances outside of my control. The months of prayers haven't alleviated these feelings and it is hard to imagine an end. I pray God's will be done.
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