Today has been hard on my from almost the moment I woke up. Our new schedule at work started today and it was chaos. My first client seemed to enjoy making a mess just to make a mess and it was clear I was expected to clean it up, rather than the child or the parents of the child, who were also there. Needless to say that as the morning wore on so did my headache. The afternoon wasn't any better and by the time I came home I wanted to curl up into a ball. Then when I began to feel better I was confronted with unpleasant news. I felt kidney punched and unable to breathe.
I just sat there crying and praying, "I'm not ready. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not ready." Over and over again for about half an hour. Then I dried my tears and stopped. An unexpected thing happened and I felt better. Not perfectly whole, but noticeably better. Nothing had changed and yet I was able to have a moment of peace in the chaos. Sometimes I don't feel ready or strong enough, I don't know the words to pray, but I know God is listening and working it out for me.
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