God Isn't A Genie

"We all want everything to be ok. We don't even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough." -David Levithan (Every Day)

This quote has become the backdrop of today. By all regards I am okay. I have a house, I have food, I have clothes, I have a job, I have family, and I have friends. On all accounts I am okay and yet today it isn't enough. Today I need more. My needs were provided for and yet my heart is unhappy. At the center of being okay is this deep sadness that comes from unmet desire. Desire being the longing for the one I love and restoration that seems more and more like an impossibility. 

Yet, even now, I can't deny I'm not okay. I want to pray for the marvelous, but I don't because God isn't a genie that grants wishes. Sometimes you just need to have faith that God is able and even if He doesn't that it doesn't change who He is (Daniel 3:17-18). Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego thrown into the fiery furnace did not ask God for a miracle. Instead they boldly claim God's ability to rescue them, that He would rescue them, but that if He didn't they still wouldn't worship the gold image. These men were so confident in God's ability and they trusted Him so completely that they didn't need to ask God to spare them.

God tells us to pray for what we need, but constantly asking for a miracle or for the marvelous might indicate a lack of faith. Tonight I am keenly aware that I might be asking too much. Often I have prayed the same prayer, not sure of how it will be answered, and lately not sure it will be answered. Waiting has tested my faith and I have clung to prayer as the means of achieving the end. Yet God has heard me, even before the words were on my tongue, and He knows the desires of my heart. I do not need to pray endlessly about it. Prayer has become my crutch and when I don't see an answer I believe I haven't prayed right. I'm beginning to think my faith is lacking. Tonight, I prayed to be like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. That I would trust God so completely that I wouldn't have to ask and that my confidence lied in His abilities only.