Love Makes Sacrifices

This summer has been incredibly difficult and in stark contrast to last summer. The depth of despair led to today's incredibly awkward experience at work where all of my frustration bubbled up into tears. Not tears, sobs, uncontrollable sobs. As I tried to stop crying and to busy myself with work, I couldn't help, but I help except feel ashamed. I had failed. I had allowed my physical experiences to control me and I succumbed to my emotions. I am embarrassed by my uncontrollable crying at work and over something I should have been able to prevent: burnout. Yet, today has two lessons worth sharing. 

First, take care of yourself to prevent burnout. Recognize your limits and be open to communicating those limits. Although in this situation I had expressed my limits and the situation didn't change. So I suggest being firm about your limits. After today's melt down I have a feeling people will listen to my words more. Make sure you are taking breaks and removing yourself from stress. This next week I am taking off of work and I am going to enjoy a vacation. After today, it is considered a much needed vacation. Second, your moment of "weakness" is a teaching opportunity for other people affected by a similar situation so try not to be ashamed. Today, dozens of new employees witnessed my crying and blood shot eyes, they had the opportunity to see a "veteran" become emotionally upset over frustration, and they witnessed my perseverance in continuing to work the rest of the day. When I was able to speak without crying or tearing up, I was able to explain my justified frustration and use my experience as a teaching tool for newer employees. Sometimes showing them what not to do is more valuable because they can see the consequences. 

S scripture: "He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers." 1 John 3:16

O observation: Love makes sacrifices. Jesus modeled love for us when He died on the cross. We had a need (to be saved) and He sacrificed His own life to meet it (salvation). He didn't complain about His needs or His hardships, but immediately recognized our needs and our hardships then sacrificed to meet the needs and end the hardships. Our love should be the same. We should recognize need without being told and sacrifice to meet those needs. We are to take care of one another and to provide for others.

A application: Today's lesson in love was about not being selfish, but I can only think about how today I need to be selfish, I need someone to recognize my need, and I need my need to be met. Yet, that isn't what the scripture says so today I pray for strength to endure and to sacrifice for love. I recognize how other people have attempted to meet my need even when I wished the one I love would, which reminds me to choose to be grateful for what I do have.

P prayer: God, my heart is heavy with need, but I pray for strength to endure and to be able to sacrifice for others. I thank You for the people who did recognize my need. Help me to be able to do the same for others and to be able to help them. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Encourages

S scripture: "Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You." Psalm 25:20

O observation: Love encourages. In this life we have expectations for other people, but because they are human those expectations aren't always met. The scriptures say to encourage one another, to not let them be ashamed, and to allow them to take refuge in your love. Yes, you could tell them their mistake or point out a shortcoming, but doing this will only make them defensive and less likely to consider your words. Instead love encourages and takes personal responsibility to improve itself.

A application: It is easy to become frustrated when we feel we have been wronged. The justification for our thoughts and our actions is easily thought up, but even if we are 100% right, telling them that will not bring about a changed heart. Worse, if we continue to nag them about our disappointment then we actually end up hardening their hearts toward us and the issue. I know because I have done this. Not encouraging led to the destruction of a relationship. I choose today to let go of unrealistic expectations and to encourage instead of voicing my disappointment. 

P prayer: God, I have allowed expectations and justifications to lead me to believe I was right to be upset AND to voice my disappointment. I was wrong. Forgive me for forgetting love encourages. Help me to release unrealistic expectations from my heart and to encourage in love. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Responsible

S scripture: "When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things." Romans 2:1

O observation: Love is responsible. When we do or say something wrong or hurtful it is easy to judge another person and to pass the blame: "if they hadn't done (fill in the blank), then I wouldn't have (again, fill in the blank)." The scripture says that when we do this we are condemning ourselves because we are doing the same thing. The wrong or hurt committed by another person doesn't justify you committing a wrong or hurt in response. Love is responsible for its actions, it listens instead of thinking of a comeback, and confesses when it has done wrong.

A application: Oh, how easy it is to condemn others while justifying our own actions. In life people will wrong us, cause us hurt, AND we will inevitably do the same thing. That is part of being human. Yet, we are called to be responsible for our actions. Today, I choose to listen and to think before I act in response to a hurt. I choose to be responsible for my actions and confess my wrong doings. I choose to not worry if others have done the same because that is their responsibility.

P prayer: God, taking responsibility is difficult, but I know I will be held accountable. Help me to recognize my wrongdoings and to be responsible for my actions. Love is responsible. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Forgives

S scripture: "What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ." 2 Corinthians 2:10

O observation: Love forgives. The scriptures says we are to forgive. Forgiveness does not absolve a person from their wrong doing, but instead turns the problem over to God. Forgiveness is choosing to let God handle it (vengeance is the Lord's) and to put away the scripted arguments (after all God is taking care of it, not you). The act of forgiveness is like releasing yourself from prison and being filled with peace. If for nothing else, love forgives because God forgave us through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Even Jesus forgave the men who put Him on the cross, even as He lay their dying He used his last few words to offer forgiveness (Luke 23:34). If Jesus, in agony, could forgive then we can forgive in our hurt. 

A application: I have found that if someone says they are sorry or shows signs of regret then I am quickly able to offer forgiveness, but if they aren't remorseful for the hurt they have caused then I become angry and my heart hardens towards them. I do forgive them, usually after a day, but it isn't instantaneously or in the middle of hurt. I choose today to forgive like Jesus and to allow God to sort it out for me.

P prayer: God, help me to forgive as quickly as Jesus forgave on the cross. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Vs. Lust

S scripture: "The world is passing away, and also its lust; but the one who does the will of God lives forever." 1 John 2:17

O observation: Love vs. Lust. Lust allows us to believe lies and to desire what is forbidden. Eve believed the words of the serpent, lusted after the forbidden fruit, and ultimately consumed the fruit that led to her destruction. Lust is in opposition to love. Love cherishes while lust destroys and longs for more. Scripture says that lust will pass away, but love will last forever.

A application: Lust, in relationship to love, is not just about or going after another person; it is any person, object, ambition, or hobby that takes away your focus from the one you love. Desiring success isn't necessarily sinful, but it shouldn't come at the expense of others (i.e. sabotaging a coworker or ignoring the one you love, etc.). Today, I choose to examine my priorities and refocus on the one I love. The world will pass away, but the will of God lives forever.

P prayer: God, it is easy to become caught up in this world and to even lust after worldly things. I have desired more instead of being content with what I have already, which is more than enough. Please forgive me for the lustful thoughts in my heart. Remind me the world is passing away and refocus my heart, as well as my priorities, back on You, for Your will lives forever. In Your loving name, Amen. 

Love Always Protects

S scripture: "[Love] always protects." 1 Corinthians 13:7

O observation: Love always protects. Love protects from harmful influences, shame, and addictions. There is a real need to protect love because there are outside forces threatening to destroy it. These forces come from unrealistic expectations, relationships with others that think love isn't a priority, and addictions that take your time/energy/money away from  the one you love. For lack of a shepherd, the scriptures say the flock falls prey.

A application: I haven't always protected love. I have allowed love to be destroyed by forces intent on feasting upon it. I have allowed relationships to dictate standards that weren't ever an issue until I listened to their poisonous advice. I have allowed negative thoughts to pour from my mouth without regards to their effect on love. I have fallen short. I choose today to protect my "flock" and to keep it from falling prey for lack of a shepherd. 

P prayer: God, forgive me for allowing my love to be preyed upon and for allowing my heart to be poisoned by outside forces. I don't deserve another chance to protect my love, but if it is Your will that I have another change, I pray that I would protect it always. I ask that You would make me a wise shepherd, able to protect my flock from all harm. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Faithful

S scripture: "I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord." Hosea 2:20

Observation: Love is faithful. The scriptures say God called Hosea to demonstrate His unconditional love for us through Hosea's marriage to a prostitute, Gomer. Gomer and Hosea had a life together, but Gomer was unfaithful and ended up on the slave's block to be sold. Again, God called Hosea to love Gomer and get her back. This is a symbol of God's love for us and our model for love. Love is faithful even when it is not returned. 

A application: Because Jesus' unconditional love for us is in us we can pour our undeserved love on others. My love isn't being returned and rejection is painful, but the scriptures tell me love is faithful and my model of love is God not the world. I could harden my heart or even repay what has been done to me, that is the world's advice, but instead I choose to love. I choose to be faithful in love.

P prayer: God, You know my heart has been weary, tired of waiting for love to be returned, and ready for relief from the pain of rejection. I have prayed for love to end and that was wrong: love is faithful. Please forgive me for my selfishness and trying to circumvent Your command. Fill me with the love only You can provide that I would be able to give it to him in a way that reflects my gratefulness to You for loving me. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Satisfied In God

S scripture: "The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire." Isaiah 58:11

O observation: Love is satisfied in God. There are needs we all have: the need to be loved and accepted. Yet these needs cannot be dependent upon a person or an object/hobby, etc. or we are continually being disappointed when needs go unmet. God is the only one who can meet all of our needs and thus our satisfaction can only be met through Him. When we are satisfied in God then we can be satisfied in others, forgiving them when they don't meet our needs. Satisfaction in God only comes from a relationship with Him.

A application: A relationship with God, that leads to satisfaction in Him, can only be achieved by being intention about reading His word. I have read His word daily for some time, but I worry that I'm not being intentional and instead reading it out of habit or worse out of an obligation. That isn't the way to lead to a satisfying relationship with God. Today I choose to be intentional, to read like I'm listening to God talk in a conversation, and to develop a satisfying relationship in Him.

P prayer: God, I'm sorry for losing my intentionality in reading Your word. Help me to develop an intentional heart and guide me in growing our relationship. I want to be satisfied in You and You alone. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Jesus Christ

S scripture: "While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly." Romans 5:6

O observation: Love is Jesus Christ. "He was willing to love me even though I didn't deserve it, even when I didn't love Him back. He was able to see all of my flaws and imperfections and still choose to love me. His love made the greatest sacrifice to meet my greatest need. As a result I am able (by His Grace) to walk in the fullness and blessing of His love. Now and forever," (Love Dare).

A application: I am not able to share this love with others. I can love even when I'm not loved in return. I can see all the flaws and imperfections of others and still choose to love. And though I can't meet the needs of others the way God can, I can become His instrument to meet their needs. Other people can walk in the fullness and blessing of my love.

P prayer: God, thank You for Your sacrifice. Thank You for seeing me and loving me even though I don't deserve it. Help me to keep Your sacrifice and Your love at the front of my thinking that I wouldn't wander away from You. I love You and the fellowship I have with You is very important to me. I pray that the love You have for me would be reflected in the love I have for others. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Is Impossible

S scripture: "Let us love one another, for love is from God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7
O observation: Love is impossible. Unconditional, sacrificial love is impossible outside of God. The love we can manufacture from our own hearts, apart from God, cannot keep us from becoming angry or forgiving an offense. Yet God allows His love to be poured our through us. God's love for others is expressed through us because He has given us the Holy Spirit. When we love the scripture says we are born of God and that we know God because love is from God.

A application: How great it is that God expresses His love for others through me! God is allowing me to love this person that He himself loves deeply and letting me know Him deeper by allowing me to love His child. Oh, but I have forgotten that loving someone is a privilege and something to be valued above all else. I have fallen short, but I choose today to love, to value love as a privilege, and to know God deeper through my love for others.

P prayer: God, I have fallen short and I ask for Your forgiveness in my shortcomings. I am sorry I forgot love was a privilege and took it for granted. I ask that You would help me to submit to the Holy Spirit and allow me to demonstrate Your unconditional love for the ones You love. I want to love that it would be said I know You. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Seeks To Understand

S scripture: "How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding." 

Proverbs 3: 13

O observation: Love seeks to understand. To find wisdom and understanding in love you must study the one you love. You must desire to know more about them than your favorite sports team or hobbies. Love seeks to understand their hopes, dreams, and fears, as well as to gain wisdom in the way they think. Understanding prevents conflict stemmed from different points of view.

A application: Our flesh, that has grown comfortable with this other person, convinces our hearts that we know our love and we don't need to spend countless hours studying them. The truth is very different: the one we love is a deep well and it would take a lifetime to reach the bottom. There is plenty unknown that needs to be known and studied. Love seeks to understand. Today I seek to know him greater and to increase my wisdom about him.

P prayer: God, my understanding has fallen short. I have allowed myself to be fooled and believed I understood when I didn't. I have allowed misunderstandings to bring conflict. Please forgive me for not seeking understanding. Help me to find wisdom and to gain understanding that I would be blessed. Help me to discern information given that I would be able to understand and avoid conflict. Help me to obtain the opportunity to learn more. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Promotes Intimacy

S scripture: "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." Proverbs 17:9

O observation: Love promotes intimacy. We are born into life with a hunger to be known, to be loved, and to be accepted. We want people to recognize who we are and to value us for it. Someone who knows us in this way has the power to love us at great depths or to wound us in unrecoverable ways. Love covers an offense and provides safety to the one's we love. Love is the shelter for our loved ones' secrets. If we promote shame instead then we create uneasiness and separate close relationships. Love covers over an offense.

A application: I haven't always protected the secrets of loved ones. I have allowed a desire for discussion to lead me to spill information that was a secret. The information led to feelings of shame and distrust. That isn't love. Love covers an offense and keeps secrets, except those that would lead to harm. I choose today to be mindful of the information I share with others.

P prayer: God, please forgive me for the secrets I have shared. Help me to foster restraint and self-control in the information I share. Remind me that love covers an offense and is a place of safety not shame. Help those I have hurt to forgive me and to learn to trust me again. Help me to be worry of their trust again. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Intercedes

S scripture: "Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers." 3 John 2

O observation: Love intercedes. Part of loving someone is knowing their faults and their limitations, knowing their weaknesses and in love praying for them. No amount of nagging or persuasion on our part will change a heart, only God can. We have insight that we would be advocates and pray on their behalf, that they would prosper and be healthy. Love is like a wise farmer, but only God can make a seed grow into fruit.

A application: I see the flaws, I see the shortcomings, and I see the need for growth, but my responsibility is not to lead a crusade against him. My responsibility is to love him and to intercede on his behalf. I am to recognize the need in his heart, to pray for it, and to not complain about it. Instead of pointing out the speck and missing the log, I am asking God to remove the speck and to show me the log. The result: both hearts are changed.

P prayer: God, help me to turn my complaints into prayers. Help me to remember the log in my eye and not the speck in his. I pray specifically that You would heal his heart. I pray that he would take responsibility for his actions and replace lies with truth. I pray for a breakthrough in communication. I pray equally for my own heart: that I would have healing, that I would take responsibility, and that I would be honest too. In Your loving name, Amen

Love is Honorable

S scripture: "Live with your wives in an understanding way...and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life." 1 Peter 3:7

O observation: Love is honorable. "Of all the relationships I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I am willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults - past and present - I still choose to love and honor you," (The Love Dare). To honor someone is to set them apart and to acknowledge they are someone special, called for a higher purpose. When you love someone you bring them honor, you value them, and you sacrifice for them because they are set apart.

A application: Honor isn't an option. The love in my heart sets him apart and gives me the desire to sacrifice for him. The honor isn't the problem, but the pain that comes from being rejected. I don't know how to stop the pain without taking away his honor, but love is honorable. I must continue to honor him and trust the rest to God.

P prayer: God, my heart is hurting. Honor is so far from being reciprocated that I have forgotten what it looks like, feels like, and acts like. Yet You have called me to love honorably and I must honor him even when my love is rejected. I ask for Your forgiveness for the times I devalued him or wanted to devalue him to avoid the pain of rejection. Help me that I would find understanding and gain insight. Thank You for Your wisdom. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Takes Delight

S scripture: "Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life." Ecclesiastes 9:9

O observation: Love takes delight. Your life on earth is comparatively short. Whether you are a saint or a sinner your life will lead to death. Ecclesiastes 9 is gloomy, but is effective in conveying this truth: death is inevitable. Do you want to spend your "fleeting life" fighting or delighting with the one you love? The scripture says love takes delight. You have the opportunity to choose and to lead your heart. 

A application: My focus has been on petty squabbles and on selfish desires. I have missed opportunities to delight in the one I love. Today, I am choosing delight over fight. I am choosing to learn more about him, his desires, and to delight in him again. When we have been apart, my heart looks at him and knows exactly what it wants, today is the day to start feeling that way everyday.

P prayer: God, I have missed opportunities to delight in the one I love. I ask that You would forgive me for those missed opportunities. Lead me in my commitment to lead my heart and to delight in him. I thank You for the future opportunities to lead my heart and to show my delight for him. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Fights Fair

Today, while I was having lunch with coworkers, the lesson I needed to learn about love was evident. The conversation at lunch seemed to come to the consensus that most, if not all of the "lower employees", were frustrated with management or the "higher employees". It wasn't that the company was a bad company or that the people were bad, but that somewhere the company became divided. Double standards became the standard operation policy and connections more important than quality. The result is a disconnect between employer and employees. A company divided against itself will fall. I tend to think of Mark 3:25 in personal terms, as in my house or my relationship, but today it became clear that it also applied to external terms, such as a company. 

S scripture: "If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand." Mark 3:25

O observation: Love fights fair. When Jesus first began preaching and casting out demons, the religious leaders felt threatened and accused Jesus of heaving the devil inside of Him. The scripture says that Jesus responded by saying a house divided will fall or in other words, if Satan cast out demons then it would be the end of Satan. In this same way, if we are divided against each other then our marriages/our families/our relationships will fall apart.

A application: We are humans, we fall short, and we fight among ourselves. A fight is inevitable, but when we love someone we fight fair because a house divided will fall. Fighting fair means establishing boundaries; it looks more like an intelligent debate than an argument on reality television. The rule I need the most is not bringing up past mistakes. The past, when unrelated to the present, only provides fuel to the fire. If the past is related to the present then it should be used to illustrate a point and not be thrust upon the person as condemnation. After all, you were suppose to have forgiven the person for that past mistake.

P prayer: God, I have allowed myself to be divided in many situations and every time my relationships have collapsed in upon me. I ask for Your forgiveness for past mistakes and Your blessings in the future. I ask for Your help in remembering love fights fair and in establishing boundaries for healthy engagements. I don't want any more houses to fall. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Lets The Other Win

S scripture: "Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." Philippians 2:4

O observation: Love lets the other win. The scripture tells us to not just look after our own interests because this leads to stubbornness and selfishness in decision making. There are interests and priorities that we must protect, like our relationship with God, but trivial things need not be fought over. Love isn't stubborn, it is willing.

A application: I am learning to not be stubborn, except on maters that will effect eternity. If it won't matter in the end then I can be flexible and willing now. If everyone only thought of themselves and their own interests then the world would be a much worse place; it would literally be lawless chaos. If we wants others to think of us and be flexible in their own interests then we must be willing too. 

P prayer: God, I have been stubborn and selfish; unwilling to be flexible. I ask for Your forgiveness for my stubbornness and my selfishness. Help me to remember that love lets the other win. Help me to remember my priorities and to remember if it won't effect eternity that I can and should be flexible/willing to compromise. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Cherishes

S scripture: "Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it." Ephesians 5:28-29

O observation: Love cherishes. If you love someone as your own body then joy or pain in one of your lives you both experience. More than the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you), you move from want to actually treating others as you treat your own body. It is written that loving this other person is the same as loving yourself. A husband's love for his wife is suppose to look like the love Christ has for the church.

A application: When life is frustrating I tend to forget that love cherishes. My pain is very much my own and I focus on my own feelings instead of sharing his experience. His joy isn't my own joy when my life is not joyful. Often this is translated into me treating him as I have been treated and not how I want to be treated. That isn't love.

P prayer: God, please forgive me for treating him as I have been treated instead of cherishing him. Help me to love him as I love myself, that I would nurture and cherish him always. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Unconditional

S scripture: "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

O observation: Love is unconditional. Agape love is unconditional, based on the choice of the lover, and not the attributes of the one being loved. If God's love was based on our attributes then Christ wouldn't have died for our sins. We would never measure up. Yet, we know that Christ died for us, which means that God is loving and that He loves us unconditionally. We should have this same love for others. It isn't "I love you because...", but "I love you period."

A application: Conditional love is scary because if over time we can't measure up then the love is gone and our heart breaks. Unconditional love gives us the freedom to be vulnerable and to allow our relationships to grow deeper in the protection of unwavering commitment. I choose now to focus on loving the person instead of focusing on his attributes (both the good and the bad).

P prayer: God, The love in my heart for the one I love is unwavering, but when it was clear he wasn't going to return it anymore then I wanted it to end. I'm sorry for tainting unconditional love with that desire. Agape love doesn't end. I know You can understand: the Israelites tested Your love throughout the Bible and You never abandoned them. Yes, You turned Your back to punish them, but when they cried out You were still there. Help me to remember love is unconditional, love never ends. In Your loving name, Amen. 

Love Makes Good Impressions

S scripture: "Greet one another with a kiss of love." 1 Peter 5:14

O observation: Love makes good impressions. How we choose to greet people has a huge effect on our interactions with them. It is easy to greet someone warmly when we are happy or when we like them, but it is much harder when we are fighting or don't like someone. Jesus said we should greet everyone humbly and with kindness, even our enemies. 

A application: My greeting sets the tone for my interaction with someone. I need to communicate my joy at hearing from someone and not focus on past interactions or unrepented mistakes. The truth is for all the hurt, I am still really glad to hear from him and that is something that I should communicate to him. I am resolved to keep my greetings warm and not hostile or guarded.

P prayer: God, I am sorry for the missed opportunities to demonstrate love in my greetings. I am sorry for the hostile and for the guarded replies that didn't covey my joy at hearing from him. I ask for Your forgiveness. I ask that You would help me to remain humble and to greet everyone in kindness. I don't want to lose another opportunity to demonstrate love. I want to love like You. To be as loving as the father in the parable about the Prodigal son. Help me to greet with a kiss of love. In Your loving name, Amen. 

Love Is Not Jealous

Jealously is an emotion that is associated with the thoughts and feelings of insecurity or fear over an anticipated loss. Jealousy has two roots: the loss of something that belongs to you and the loss of something that you believed you deserved. One is based in righteousness and one is based in selfishness. Jealousy is most often seen in context of relationships. Relationships exist between family members, between friends, between coworkers, between acquaintances, and between romantic partners. The boundaries defined in each of these relationships largely prevent unnecessary jealousy, but when boundaries are blurred jealousy rages. I think it is important to make the distinction between the roots of jealousy and to understand in contexts of relationships because it explains a lot of people's behavior. 

I would like to address two particular audiences and offer some advice. First, to parents, please remember that you are your child's parent and that you don't need to compete with other adults in their life or even their friends. Be your child's parent and you will never have to worry if they will replace you because they can't. When you, as a parent, begin to feel threatened and behave jealously then you are telling your child it is wrong to develop relationships with other people. Developmentally your child needs these relationships, but more importantly your child needs to have relationships with people he or she can trust in the case of an emergency. If your child wants to spend time with a relative let them because those relationships are important too. Likewise, if your child wants to spend time with a friend let them. You will always be the parent to your child so there is no reason to feel threatened. Second, to couples, remember to establish boundaries in your friendships, especially your friendships with the opposite sex. Boundaries that establish a friendship means that your romantic partner will not feel threatened and behave jealously. Boundaries that are blurred lead to insecurities and eventually lead to jealousy. 

S scripture: "Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire." Song of Solomon 8:6

O observation: Love is not jealous. Jealousy is divided into two categories: legitimate and illegitimate. Legitimate jealousy is when what is rightfully ours is given to someone else. God's jealousy is legitimate. But illegitimate jealousy is based on envy, a selfish desire that leads us to believe we should have received something instead of someone else. Love does not have illegitimate jealousy, rather love has a legitimate jealousy that is as unyielding as the grave. Love is not selfish, but delights in the success of others.

A application: In the past I have experienced illegitimate forms of jealousy and I realize that isn't love. Love rejoices with those who are rejoicing and weeps with those who are weeping. It is time to throw out the negatives of the depreciation room and to focus on cheering on the success of the one I love. 

P prayer: God, I have been wrongly jealous in the past and I recognize my error. I ask for Your forgiveness and Your help to remember love isn't jealous. The legitimate jealous I feel right now weighs upon my heart and I ask for the wisdom to discern this jealousy is really legitimate and not a sin I am committing. Again, I want my love to be like Yours and not motivated by selfish desires. I don't want the burning of illegitimate jealousy to hurt someone I love. Help me to rejoice with those who rejoice. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Believes The Best

"You have to face problems however difficult they are. Having the bravery to face your difficulties is the hardest step; working through the problem is often easier than you think. The first step is always the hardest." (God Wants You to Know)

This is fitting for today when I all I seem to face is problems. I don't want to face problems, but the problems I face need to be faced and dealt with. The problems include an evaluation at work and the air conditioning in my car. I dealt with the evaluation, though I would have liked to postpone it, and I passed the evaluation. Success. Problem solved. Unfortunately, the air conditioning wasn't fixed in my car and is now a problem for another day. 

The point is that no matter how difficult the problem is you need to face it and start to work through it. God is there with you and has given you the tools you need to solve your problems. A solution won't be found by ignoring the problem. In fact, ignoring the problem often makes it worse. God doesn't tell us to ignore our problems, but to trust Him. All our problems, all of our hurt, and all of our suffering is worked out for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. It doesn't matter how big or how scary your problems are because God promises to work it out for your good. 

There are things in life that will scare you, but you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think (Winnie the Pooh). Not to mention God is on your side and nothing formed against will stand. 

S scripture: "[Love] believes all things, hopes all things." 1 Corinthians 13:7

O observation: Love believes the best. There are two rooms in our heart: the appreciation room and the depreciation room. Love lives in the appreciation room. Love believes the best about someone, because of the appreciation room, and gives them the benefit of the doubt. Love doesn't give up even when love isn't returned because love hopes all things.

A application: When I am upset with the one I love I tend to enter the depreciation room and remember all of things that he has done wrong. Love believes the best and gives the person the benefit of the doubt. I need to live in the appreciation room and to believe all things, to hope all things. Living in the appreciation room means appreciating the one I love everyday and praying for the mistakes the one I love makes instead of holing them against him.

P prayer: God, I haven't always lived in the appreciation room and frequently have visited the depreciation room. I ask for Your forgiveness for all of the times I went into the depreciation room and lingered. I ask for Your forgiveness for all of the times I used items in the depreciation room as ammo when I was upset. I didn't believe all things or hope all things and I'm sorry for not appreciating the one I love. I know I don't deserve another chance, but if You gave me one I ask that You would help me remember to believe all things, hope all things, and to live in the appreciation room. I want my love to be like Yours. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Not Irritable

S scripture: "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city." Proverbs 16: 32

O observation: Love is not irritable. To be irritable is to be near the point of a knife. Irritability is caused by stress and selfishness. God doesn't want us to become angry unless our anger can be justified in His sight. Control over our reactions makes us strong and powerful, as one who captures a city. When life squeezes us, we should be sweet and not sour. 

A application: I am irritable. I allow life to squeeze me, to drain me, and to turn me sour. I try to add margin to my life, but sometimes I find myself drained and my fuse short. I need to be better about adding margins and giving myself rest so I can be slow to anger.

P prayer: God, when life squeezes me I often turn sour. Please replenish my spirit that I would in turn be sweet. Help me to remember to add margin to my life and to not overreact to minor moments. Please help me to remember love is not irritable. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Not Rude

S scripture: "He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him." Proverbs 27: 14

O observation: Love is not rude. Rudeness is saying or doing anything that is unnecessarily unpleasant to be around. Irrelevant behavior to you could be a curse to another person. Consider treating others how you would want to be treated, not keeping double standards (manners should extend across various relationships in your life), and honor the requests others have made about your behavior (if they say they don't like it then you should stop doing it).

A application: I have never thought about myself as a rude person, but I do know that I have done things before that have made people uncomfortable, such as voicing my opinions too loudly or too stubbornly in the voice of opposition.

P prayer: God, I recognize that I am not the most considerate person and that I can be irritating at times. Please help me to remember the Golden Rule, to not keep double standards, and to honor requests. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Thoughful

S scripture: "How precious also are your thoughts to me...How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand." Psalm 139: 17-18

O observation: Love is thoughtful. Love is not idle, but is constantly thinking of another person. Our thoughts about the one we love should outnumber the sand and their thoughts should be precious to us. We should desire to include them in our decisions and to think about how our actions will affect them. Our thoughts should be on how we can show them love, meet their needs, and cherish them. Love is always thinking.

A application: I have done a fairly good job of thinking of the one I love, but I will admit that I'm not always good about following through with thought-out plans for the one I love. My intentions are good, but my plans aren't always executed. I need to be more consistent in thinking about how my actions affect others.

P prayer: God, I am not always thoughtful and I don't always think about my actions. Please help me to be more thoughtful. Help me to remember to include others in decisions that affect them. In Your loving name, Amen

Love Is Not Selfish

The preparation for yesterday was love is kind and had the challenge of taking initiative to meet a need. Today, I was eating lunch with a friend and her lunch essentially exploded in the microwave. She attempted to eat her food, but it was inedible. I watched the look of defeat form on her face as she realized that she wouldn't be able to eat her lunch. I had started my lunch earlier and so was finished by the time she started her lunch. I made the decision to take initiative and to meet a need. I volunteered that I was going to a nearby restaurant to grab some fries (after all I did just finish my lunch) and asked if she wanted anything. She did and ended up going with me to eat lunch at the restaurant. I was able to bless my friend with kindness and was rewarded with a nice lunch with a friend. 

S Scripture: "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor." Romans 12: 10

O Observation: God wants us to be devoted to one another in love and to meet one another's needs in honor. Love is not selfish. Love puts the needs of another before its own. Actions should be motivated by love and not selfish desires.

A Application: I try not to be selfish, but when it comes to putting aside my own needs I struggle. I struggle because I'm afraid my needs will go unmet and past experience has shown that they do. However, God does not provide circumstances under which we must love, but rather that we love always. My focus should be on others and trusting God to meet my needs. Love is not selfish.

P Prayer: God, I know love is not selfish and I don't want selfishness to motivate my actions. Help me to put my needs aside and to trust that You will provide for them. Help me to meet needs out of love and love only. In Your loving name, Amen.

Love Is Kind

Yesterday's preparation in love was patience, with the challenge of not saying anything negative. Today, there was plenty of opportunity to demonstrate patience. This morning, as I enjoyed my coffee, I realized that the remote for the living room was missing. I figured that someone had walked off with the remote in their hand and set it down somewhere in the house. I wasn't concerned about the remote, but someone else was. Someone else chose to pass the blame on to me, even though I knew that I didn't lose the remote, and continued to lecture me as we looked for the remote. I stated the facts, as I remembered from the day before, and then chose not to respond to their negative comments. It didn't matter who was responsible for the remote having gone missing, but sometimes people just want to argue anyways. I chose not to enter into the argument and eventually decided to walk away before I said something negative.

S Scripture: "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32

"Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man." Proverbs 3: 3-4

"She opens her mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." Proverbs 31: 26

O Observation: God is kind to us, He forgives us and blesses us, even though we don't deserve it. We are to treat others this same way. God wants us to bind kindness and truth around our necks because they are important in His sight. We should speak with wisdom and our tone should be kindness, that people would be receptive to the words we speak.

A Application: I need to be gentle in my interactions, helpful to meet the needs of the moment, willing to be flexible, and take the initiate to meet the need shown.

P Prayer: God, I am not as kind as I should be. Help me to practice kindness. In Your loving name, Amen. 

Love Is Patient

The last few days I have prayed about preparation, not knowing where to start, but knowing that I needed to do something to prepare my heart. I struggled with how to practice, how to truly understand, without someone else there and I turned this over to God. I have felt pushed to prepare, but equally that God isn't going to give me someone until I am prepared. Admittedly, I felt stuck, but then I realized I could study the characteristics and principles of love. With the study, I could also apply the characteristics/principles of love to everyone I encounter in my life. After all, traits like patience and kindness aren't suppose to be reserved just for the one we love. As I enter this time of preparation, I know it will be challenging, but I enter it with eyes open and ready to grow in my understanding of love. I trust God to guide me, to give me understanding, and to bless this journey. I know that He is with me every step of the way, teaching me that I would love like Him.

S Scripture: "Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2

O Observation: God's will is that we would be humble, recognizing we are humans who make mistakes, and gentle, recognizing that our tone can affect other people. He wants us to be patient, bearing with each other in love. We need to wait, allow ourselves to see the whole picture, and provide others with the opportunity to be human and to fix their mistakes.

A Application: When I feel an injustice, I am quick to act upon it, to give full vent to my feelings and all, but demand justice from the person. This is not patience or bearing with one another in love. I need to guard my mouth, show restraint in my words, and wait: for the person to correct their mistake or for me to see the whole picture.

P Prayer: God, please forgive me for my impatience. Help me remember I am human too and keep me from responding negatively. In Your loving name, Amen. 

Praying Without Believing

This last week I have been drawn to and focused on the area of love. It started with God Wants You To Know messages about love and continued as I prayed for understanding during my time with God. The messages about love have continued and include, "Your task is not to seek for love, but to seek and melt all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it," as well as "love is a great investment". I haven't really been sure of what to make of all of it. Today, in an innocent, unguarded moment at work I was reminded of a memory of the one I love. The memory was so vivid that I felt all of the same feelings I had felt in the original moment, but this time I also felt sadness because it was gone. In truth I have struggled this week and I have prayed often about a next step. I'm not sure this is an answer, but my devotional today was about praying without believing. The message that we should pray, believing our prayers will be answered, and then preparing our life for the answer. If I want to love like God, if I want restoration, then I need to strengthen my weaknesses. 

S Scripture: "Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?" says the Lord. "Do I close up the womb when I bring to delivery?" says Your God." Isaiah 66:9

O Observation: God will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born. The pain of labor is rewarded with the birth of new life. In essence the pain we experience is "labor pains" and the outcome is "new life"; a blessing.

A Application: It is difficult for me to justify pain, especially my own pain, but I can't deny that pains of labor bring forth beautiful life. Right now my heart is in pain and I long for that "new life". I need to recognize the purpose of my pain and prepare my life for the new that is waiting to be born. 

P Prayer: God, I haven't known what I should do. All of these messages and all of my feelings have left me confused. My heart is in pain, but You are bringing forth new life. I ask that You would help me prepare to receive new life. In Your loving name, Amen

Look Up

S Scripture: "Then Job replied to the Lord: "I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, "Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?" Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You said, "Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me." My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you. 

Job 42:1-5

O Observation: "Job, having faced great hardship, is now talking to God, who is showing him his limited knowledge. Job admits God can do all things and no one can stop His purposes. He realizes that he spoke of things he didn't understand; again, his knowledge is limited compared to God's vastness. Job had heard of God, but had never really saw Him until this experience.

A Application: There are many reasons we face hardship and Job proves that our hardship isn't necessarily a product of sin in our lives. The reality is that God can do all things and no one, not even Satan, can stop His purpose. Satan's intent, while he was bringing hardship to Job, was that Job would fail God and curse Him in his suffering, but God's purpose wasn't thwarted and He worked Job's hardships for good. There are things I cannot see, things I do not understand, and things too wonderful for me to comprehend. My place is not to question God's purpose, but to trust that it will be done, that it all will work out for my good. God holds my life in His hands.

P Prayer: God, I am afraid that I will lose the one I love the way I have lost other people. I am afraid that my relationship to the one I love will never be restored. I am afraid that the hurt will never go away. I am afraid to trust anyone again. I am afraid of letting go; of admitting it really is over. I am afraid that I have failed You in love. My heart aches and grows weary, but I pray for courage. I know Your purpose will prevail. In Your loving name, Amen. 

Everything Is Meant For Good

Everything is Meant For Good

Scripture: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Observation: The disciples are writing this letter to the church in Corinthians. They are trying to convey the message that believers are not alone in their suffering and when we suffer we are able to comfort others as God has comforted us. There is hope in shared comfort and suffering among believers. 

Application: I am in a place of suffering and I am in this place because God is telling me "No". I could focus on the suffering and allow it to overwhelm me in pain or I could allow God to use this experience to bring comfort to others. I need to choose comfort that I would be able to comfort others.

Prayer: Dear God, You see the tears I have cried and the pain I have suffered, yet You have promised to work it out for my good. I pray for the strength to endure and I ask for comfort, for peace, to fill my heart. I ask that You would show me who in my life I could bring comfort to and I ask for the courage to share my story. In Your loving name, Amen. 

***

Today I am realizing how much the love we have for others shapes our actions. So many of my actions or inaction the last few weeks have been because of love and I pray tonight for a greater understanding of love, that my love would be a reflection of God's love for me.